A woman brings eight-year old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight year old daughter... Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age"... "Curious about sex"...? replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her f*cking appendix out"...
Some flats are small these day, aren't they . . . . please log in to view this image please log in to view this image
I went to the cinema to see Harry Potter and was shocked to see a dog sat in the seats in front of me. He barked at the exciting bits, wagged his tail at the happy bits and growled at the sad bits. When it finished I approached his owner saying that I was so surprised at the dogs reaction. The owner replied "So was I . . . . he hated the book!"
A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some Relief After he came home she'd start right in on him again. After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30. His wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her, "You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house, I lost you to him in the card game tonight." His wife became furious and started to give him hell. She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?" He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done... I had to fold with four aces."
Shortly after take-off on an outbound evening Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish accent: Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake. When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our five hour flight. Her next announcement came about 2 hours later: "If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."