I went to the cinema to see Harry Potter and was shocked to see a dog sat in the seats in front of me. He barked at the exciting bits, wagged his tail at the happy bits and growled at the sad bits. When it finished I approached his owner saying I was so surprised at the dogs reaction. The owner replied "So was I". "He hated the book!"
Man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him started playing poker A henpecked man got tired of his wife constantly picking on him, so he started playing poker on Friday nights with his buddies just to get some relief. After he came home she'd start right in on him again. After several weeks went by, he came home early one Friday night about 9:30. His wife asked him how come he was home early. He told her, "You need to pack your bags and go to Herb's house, I lost you to him in the card game tonight." His wife became furious and started to give him hell. She said, "Just how could you do such a thing!?" He replied, "It was the hardest thing I ever done... I had to fold with four aces."
I just hate it when we are at odds with the French. I was saying the same to my two dogs Nelson and Wellington earlier today.
An elderly couple, both whose spouses had died, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. 'How do you feel about sex?' he asked, rather tentatively. 'I would like it infrequently' she replied. He sat quietly for a moment, leaned over towards her and whispered - 'Is that one word or two?'
Due to Low profit margins Marks & Spencers are to merge with Poundstretcher. The new stores will be called StretchMarks..........
