A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone." "No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?" His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror,stare at myself and repeat 3 times I do not have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone." "Well, that is wonderful," replies the husband. His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?" The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!" The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back." With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying, She's not my wife! She's not my wife! She's not my wife!" His funeral service will be held on Saturday.
Uncertainty has hit the Japanese banking industry. In the past week, Origami bank has folded, Sumo bank has gone belly up and Bonsai bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Last week it was announced that Karaoke bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while shares in Kamikaze bank were suspended after they nosedived. Samurai bank is soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja bank is reported to have taken a hit, but it remains in the black. Furthermore 500 staff at Karate bank got the chop and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi bank where it’s feared staff may get a raw deal.
Guy is getting married and wants to surprise his bride on wedding night by having her name tattooed on his manhood. So off he goes to tattooist. He asks him his betrotheds name, "Wendy" he replies. "ok, off and we will have a look" Checks him out and decides that he can't tattoo her name on 3". " Sorry mate, you will have to make it a little bigger for her name to fit". Guy obliges and tattoo goes ahead. When arousal settles the letters WDY are clearly visible. Well pleased with his "gift" the guy goes for a good few beers to celebrate. After a while he needs the inevitable pee, so off he goes. Standing at the next urinal however is a six ft 7" beast of a bloke with dreadlocks. He can't help but sneak a look. Much to his delight he can see 'WDY' tattooed on the guys manhood. " Oh, is your wife's name Wendy as well??" " No man", he replies, "Mine says 'Welcome to Barbados, have a nice day' "
