Two Blonds walking through a forest come upon a set of tracks. One thought they were Deer, one wild boar, they were still arguing about it when the train hit them.
Two nuns cycling back to the Convent through the village, First nun..........iv'e never come this way before Second nun........neither have i, must be the cobbles.
My wife and i went to the auction in Paris Kentucky the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR" My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs...... smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.' We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR" MY wife gave me a healthy jab and said, WOW~~That's more than twice a week!........... You could learn a lot from him. We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR" My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day... You could REALLY learn something from this one'! I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow'. My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and i should eventually make a full recovery.....................
↑ 'A tough gang on motor bikes encountered a young girl looking like she was going to suicide by jumping off a bridge into the river. The head tough guy said, 'Before you jump, can I get a big lingering kiss?' The answer was yes and they kissed passionately. When finished, the tough guy said 'Tell me, why are you committing suicide?' The answer was, 'Cos my parents don't like me dressing in girls clothes'.
I had a happy childhood. I remember when I was young, my father would put me into a tyre and roll me down a hill. Ah, they were good years.
How do you know when you're really pissed? When you sit of the toilet and no matter how much you reach behind you, you can't find the seat belt.
