My wife and i went to the auction in Paris Kentucky the other week and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR" My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs...... smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year, that's almost once a week.' We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR" MY wife gave me a healthy jab and said, WOW~~That's more than twice a week!........... You could learn a lot from him. We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, in capital letters, "THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR" My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said, 'That's once a day... You could REALLY learn something from this one'! I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if every time was with the same old cow'. My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and i should eventually make a full recovery.....................
My wife has these 'moments', the best one being when I came home after a bike ride to find the house locked up and my wife out. I rode to my in-laws and found out that her and her mam had gone to bingo, so I went there and got the key from her and rode home. Once inside I found a note on the kitchen table that read ''Gone to bingo with my mam, your key's on the mantelpiece''
Two Blondes walking through a forest come upon a set of tracks. One thought that they were Deer, one wild boar, and they were still arguing about it when the train hit them.
Two nuns cycling back to the Convent through the village. The first nun said "I've never come this way before" The second nun said "Neither have I . . . . it must be the cobbles."
A Lorry containing 2 tonnes of Marmite has jackknifed this morning . . . . a police spokesperson said that long delays are expected on the Yeastbound M62.