People accuse me of being pretentious because I'm rich. Anyway, I asked the person who I hired to pour my whisky, "Where's the cigarette lighter?" He replied, "You gave him the day off, sir."
In Germany when someone is diagnosed with coeliac disease others with the same disease will chase and try and hit them with bread to make them feel welcome. It's called gluten tag.
A priest a vicar and a rabbit go to a blood bank, where they were asked about their blood group. The rabbit said "I'm a Type O, I think"
Reminds me of an old joke. A rabbit and a toad are running across a field. They run head on into each other. The toad picks himself up and says "sorry about that, I'm completely blind and didn't see you". The rabbit replies "what a coincidence, I'm blind too, lets try and guess what creature we are by touching each others faces, you go first". The toad felt the rabbits head, "twitchy nose, whiskers, soft fur and big floppy ears, are you a rabbit" ?. "Yes, my turn" said the rabbit. "Big fat head, slimy, warts, big mouth, Your a Newcastle supporter".
