Me & my missus favourite sexual position is called the ''England football team'' ! . . . Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication & we never make it past the 1st stage. There's horrible dribbling & never a clean sheet. Its over far too quickly & when it does end I know it'll be at least another four fkn years before it happens again!
Who said that Men can't multitask, after some practice I can now listen to the wife and ignore her at the same time !
I am starting a protest tomorrow. "Fat Lives Matter" Meeting at McDonald's at 10 KFC at 11 BurgerKing at 12 Gregg's at 1
A Man decided to join the church and become a monk. He went to his new home and the head monk told him that in order to dedicate his life to the church he had to take a vow of silence, but he would be allowed 2 words every 7 years. The man agreed and began his new life. 7 years passed and the head monk said "You have done very well my son I shall now grant you 2 words." "Food cold" replied the monk. "Sorry" said the head monk, "I shall have to sort that out for you as soon as possible." Another 7 years pass and again he is granted 2 words. "bed hard" he said. "I'm really sorry" says the head monk, "I'll fix that for you right away." Another 7 years pass and the head monk says "You have served us well and I'm happy to grant you another 2 words" "I quit!" replied the monk. "Good" said the head monk, "You've done nothing but moan since you got here....."