Off Topic Jokes thread

Subbuteo is making a comeback, it's far more realistic now.

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Me & my missus favourite sexual position is called the ''England football team'' ! . . .

Neither of us know what we're doing or why we're there, there's no passion, no communication & we never make it past the 1st stage.

There's horrible dribbling & never a clean sheet. Its over far too quickly & when it does end I know it'll be at least another four fkn years before it happens again!

 

I was eating a burger when a lady come by with a salad. She said you know that a cow died so you could eat that. I said if you weren't eating all its food it probably wouldn't have

 

Who said that Men can't multitask, after some practice I can now listen to the wife and ignore her at the same time !

 

I am starting a protest tomorrow.
"Fat Lives Matter"
Meeting at McDonald's at 10
KFC at 11
BurgerKing at 12
Gregg's at 1