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Jokes

Discussion in 'Leeds United' started by ellandback, Jun 25, 2019.

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  1. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    #2701
    ellandback, May 13, 2021
    Makemstine Roger likes this.
  2. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2702
    Old Git, May 14, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, FORZA LEEDS, oldschool and 5 others like this.
  3. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2703
    Old Git, May 14, 2021
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  4. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    My mate took his Grandad to one of those fancy Health Spas, where tiny little fish eat all the dead skin.

    It cost him £35, but it was a lot cheaper than a funeral.
     
    #2704
    blonogasoven, May 14, 2021
    Ringo Lion, Makemstine Roger, stonkin and 3 others like this.
  5. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    I poured some water down a duck's back today.

    He didn't care.
     
    #2705
    blonogasoven, May 14, 2021
    OLOF likes this.
  6. ellandback

    ellandback Well-Known Member
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    #2706
    ellandback, May 14, 2021
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  7. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    New
    "A Japanese man walked into the currency exchange in New York City with 5000 yen and walked out with $72.
    The following week, he walked in with another 5000 yen, and was handed $66.
    He asked the teller why he got less money that week than the previous week.
    The teller said, "Fluctuations."
    The Japanese man stormed out, and just before slamming the door, turned around and shouted, "Fluc you Amelicans, too!"
     
    #2707
    Makemstine Roger, May 15, 2021
    lifecheshirewhite, Ringo Lion, FORZA LEEDS and 2 others like this.
  8. Infidel

    Infidel Well-Known Member

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    I think I have told you all before, NEVER get close or friendly with a woman with a small mouth.
    Small mouth = nasty ****ers.
    Check around people you know, it’s true.
     
    #2708
    Infidel, May 15, 2021
    oldschool, Makemstine Roger and OLOF like this.
  9. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    #2709
    Whitejock, May 15, 2021
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  10. Oldsparkey

    Oldsparkey Well-Known Member
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    #2710
    Oldsparkey, May 16, 2021
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  11. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2711
    Old Git, May 17, 2021
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  12. Poly

    Poly Well-Known Member

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    #2712
    Poly, May 18, 2021
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  13. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    I'll never forget how happy i was when i saw my missus walking down the aisle towards me...
    ..., My heart was beating so fast and the expectation was unbearable. It seemed to take so long but eventually there she was, stood beside me. I gave her a cheeky wink and said, 'get that ****ing trolley over here they're doing three crates of Grolsch for the price of two!!!!
     
    #2713
    Last edited: May 21, 2021
    Old Git, May 19, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, blonogasoven, OLOF and 2 others like this.
  14. Old Git

    Old Git Well-Known Member

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    #2714
    Old Git, May 20, 2021
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  15. wakeybreakyheart

    wakeybreakyheart Well-Known Member

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    If it takes 10 white men 5 days to dig a ditch 20 yards long and 2 metres deep how long would it take 8 men of colour to dig the same ditch. And if 50% of the workforce in each case was comprised of women how long would the same job take. If all the workforce in each case were transgender how long would the same job take ?
     
    #2715
    wakeybreakyheart, May 20, 2021
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  16. blonogasoven

    blonogasoven Well-Known Member

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    I knew I was in trouble when my Irish kidnapper removed the blindfold.

    Maybe I should have escaped while he was still wearing it.
     
    #2716
    blonogasoven, May 21, 2021
    dennisthewetcat, Makemstine Roger and wakeybreakyheart like this.
  17. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    #2717
    Whitejock, May 22, 2021
    FORZA LEEDS, blonogasoven, brisbane-lion and 1 other person like this.
  18. wakeybreakyheart

    wakeybreakyheart Well-Known Member

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    When your dad owns the team.
     
    #2718
    wakeybreakyheart, May 22, 2021
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  19. Whitejock

    Whitejock Well-Known Member

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    Obviously Tubby Tommy Brolin is his hero. :D
     
    #2719
    Whitejock, May 22, 2021
  20. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #2720
    Makemstine Roger, May 23, 2021
    xbpod and FORZA LEEDS like this.
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