Match Day Thread Granny FC Vs Grandpa's Boys Utd - Tuesday 11th May Quarter past 8 in the evening on Uncle Jamie TV

Tuesday, 8.15. The Care Home has just reopened after a year of rubbing out and refilling the same crosswords. Grampa Roy, 92, has just finished embroidering a Swiss flag to hang on his wall. He likes telling the other residents he went to Switzerland once. Can't quite remember why though.

He sits opposite old Granny St. Claire, the hottest biddy in the house. She is wearing one red sock and one white. Her false teeth are in the cup of tea next to her and she is masticating a cucumber at Roy hard. This is top notch seduction.

Roy's boys are in to visit. What a handsome bunch. Tall, athletic types with manly names like Gary, Jordan and Mamadou. His favourite boy is Wilfried, the German viscount who hides in Granny St. Claire's son's pocket. Good old James. He has deep pockets, except when it is his round.

So, says Granny, a bit of mashed cucumber dribbling from her mouth with the insipid pace of a Southampton breakaway, how do you think the match will go?

I prefer lighters, says Roy.

(Yes that is the ****ing match thread. Get over it)

 

(sticky me)

 

I hope we win after that!

 

I hope we find our teeth and give uncle Roy a nibble.

 

Get ready for your new avatar @Libby

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This is Granny before her facial hair was trimmed.

 

Love it!

Worth losing a game to get a thread by you

 

We have Palace, Fulham, Leeds and then West Ham. I could quite conceivably be writing a whole novella about Granny.

 

Tuesday 11th May 2021 Southampton v Crystal Palace. 20:15 ko

Referee: Andy Madley.
Assistants: Eddie Smart, Mark Scholes.
Fourth official: John Brooks.
VAR: Simon Hooper.
Assistant VAR: Derek Eaton.

 

I hope someone tells young Andy not to start the match at 8pm!

 

OOPS!

 

Palace are safe following their win this weekend so hopefully they'll be hanging up their boots and getting out their flip flops. This could be our best chance of getting a win in our final run of games.

But then depending on what happens in the Fulham game tomorrow night we might be safe too by Tuesday evening, so who knows. Be nice to finally get to 40 points either way.

 

So there is a place for Grandma gums.

 

This is the one we win.

2-0 Saints.

 

Tricky one this. I want to be positive, but it seems like the general consensus is to be happy if we lose so I may go for that.

3-0 Palace, we throw it away and Ralph out.

Happy now everyone?

Oh and don't dare ask where the neggies are as I will get called out. This place is a bit of a joke at the moment to be fair.

Better than Twatter, but a lot of them on here.

 

I’m not sure what to hope for, after that.

 

My team

Whoever
KWP-Bedders-Vester-Stephens
Tella-JWP-Armstrong-Redders
Adams-Obafemi

Obafemi showed enough this weekend to warrant giving him a run out against an ageing defence

 

The OS is dropping clear hints that Danny will be in contention, so I expect him to be on the team sheet.

 

Yep. Most of Palace's squad are out of contract this summer, so whilst they might want to put themselves in the shop window, arguably a more likely scenario is that they'll want to get getting any injury which could take them right away from that window. A 50-50 you say? Nah, you have the ball Saints.