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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

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  1. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    I was telling a guy at work how useless I am with the ladies, and how I had to stand on a chair to kiss last night's date goodnight.

    He said, "Wow! She was that tall?"

    I said, "No, she hanged herself."
     
    #9501
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 21, 2021
    Draig, Gil T Azell and farnboromackem like this.
  2. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    A man runs up the street obviously fleeing from someone. He sees and Nun and goes to her. please, can i hide under your habit?" She agrees and he ducks under. Two MPs come along and ask if she had seen a man running. She says yes and points 'He went that way". The MPs dash off. The man comes out from under her habit. "Thanks, for that. I don't want to go to Iraq. By the way, you've got an impressive pair of legs." "Yes" says the nun."if you'd looked a little higher you would have seen and impressive pair of balls. I don't want to go to Iraq either".
     
    #9502
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 21, 2021
    cumbrianmackem, Draig, Class of 73 and 1 other person like this.
  3. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #9503
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 21, 2021
    gelders pie and farnboromackem like this.
  4. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #9504
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 21, 2021
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  5. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    Just spent the afternoon with my grandson, he has just broken up with his girlfriend Lorraine, apparently she found out he was seeing another girl called Claire.
    He says it's good news though as he can see Claire Lee now Lorraine has gone ....
     
    #9505
    Vincemac, Apr 21, 2021
    Makemstine Roger, Draig, Class of 73 and 5 others like this.
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    IMG-20210421-WA0004.jpg
     
    #9506
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 21, 2021
    Nordic, cumbrianmackem, Draig and 3 others like this.
  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Three old lads chatting in the care home and one says "I am really struggling at the moment I go for days and days without having a dump and when I do it is agony trying to push it out. It's making my life a nightmare" The second says "Well I am struggling to piss properly. Sometimes I go without one for ages and when I do eventually manage to go I'm lucky if I get a dribble coming out" The third chap says "You two don't know a damn thing about struggles. At 6:00 every morning I have a massive dump and a piss that a racehorse would be proud of"

    "What's wrong with that?" they asked

    "I don't wake up until 7:30!"
     
    #9507
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 22, 2021
    cumbrianmackem, Draig, Snaggey and 1 other person like this.
  8. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    received_202713664738402.jpeg
     
    #9508
    Gil T Azell, Apr 22, 2021
    cumbrianmackem, Draig, Ozzymac and 3 others like this.
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #9509
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 22, 2021
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  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    I went to see a mindreader last night.
    She said "Think of a card, any card"
    "OK"
    "Is it the four of clubs?"
    "No"
    "Ace of diamonds?"
    "No"
    "What is it then?"
    "Birthday"
     
    #9510
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 23, 2021
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  11. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    BBC News. “Man dies after car is deliberately driven at men after row in M&S car park.”

    F*ck me, the caterpillar sh*te escalated quickly
     
    #9511
    Gil T Azell, Apr 23, 2021
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  12. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    The wife said to me "If you really loved me you'd buy me a mink."
    Now she doesn't stop f*cking complaining about having to clean it's cage out!
     
    #9512
    Gil T Azell, Apr 23, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong, Makemstine Roger and Draig like this.
  13. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    COUNCILS .. Save money on expensive lollipop people and ensure the safety of the children by building schools on the other side of the road.
     
    #9513
    Gil T Azell, Apr 23, 2021
    Gordon Armstrong, cumbrianmackem, Makemstine Roger and 1 other person like this.
  14. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Do women ever come out the toilet and say ‘I'd give that 10 minutes’?
     
    #9514
    Gil T Azell, Apr 23, 2021
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  15. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #9515
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 23, 2021
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  16. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #9516
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 23, 2021
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  17. Makemstine Roger

    Makemstine Roger Well-Known Member

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    #9517
    Makemstine Roger, Apr 23, 2021
    farnboromackem, Ozzymac and Gil T Azell like this.
  18. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    colin.jpg
     
    #9518
    Gil T Azell, Apr 24, 2021
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  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #9519
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 25, 2021
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  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    7ea29afb31555699cf58340f8adaaf4b.jpg
     
    #9520
    Gordon Armstrong, Apr 25, 2021
    Gil T Azell and MrRAWhite like this.
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