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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

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  1. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    Blokes working on the top floor of a 10 story building site, one takes a s**t out the window.
    s**t drops down, hits the foreman walking at the bottom of the building,
    He goes running up to the top floor.
    Where everybody on that floor denies doing it or see anything.
    Foreman looks out of the window, starts shouting, what's that on path 1m out at the bottom of the building, s**t
    What's that on the scaffolding pole 500mm out half way down the building, s**t
    What's that on the widow sill s**t
    So what does that tell me?
    One bloke replies, is it the building is out of plumb.
     
    #10361
    swantastic, Mar 4, 2021
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  2. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-3-4_21-16-6.png
     
    #10362
    swantastic, Mar 4, 2021
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  3. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #10363
    duggie2000, Mar 4, 2021
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was in my garden today and the neighbour looked over the fence and said.. “What are you doing?”
    “I'm putting all my plants in alphabetical order...”
    She replied “Really? I don't know how you find the time..!”
    Oh that's easy I said, “Its right next to the sage.”
     
    #10364
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2021
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10365
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2021
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  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10366
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2021
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10367
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2021
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10368
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 4, 2021
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  9. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #10369
    duggie2000, Mar 5, 2021
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  10. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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    A man rushes into a bar and orders a double brandy. While the barman is pouring, the man
    extends his hand at knee height and asks: “Do penguins grow this big?”
    “I should think so,” the barman replies.
    The man raises his hand. “How about this big?”
    “Well, perhaps a king penguin, but I’m not sure . . .”
    The man holds his hand at shoulder level: “This big?”
    “Not a cat in hell’s chance.”
    The man knocks back his drink in one. “Bollocks. I just ran over a nun.”
     
    #10370
    swantastic, Mar 5, 2021
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Just had two police officers come up to me outside Aldi.
    They asked me the following questions:
    "Are you familiar with the letters HB?"
    I said, "no i'm not"
    "How about LS?"
    "No"
    "What about JD?"
    I said, "hang on a minute, am I a suspect or something?"
    They said, "no, these are just initial enquiries.
     
    #10371
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 5, 2021
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Talk about product placement...............................

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    #10372
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 5, 2021
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10373
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 5, 2021
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10374
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 5, 2021
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  15. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    #10375
    duggie2000, Mar 6, 2021
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10376
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 6, 2021
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10377
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 6, 2021
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10378
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 6, 2021
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10379
    Wooperts_duck, Mar 6, 2021
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  20. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    upload_2021-3-7_19-10-22.png
     
    #10380
    Taffvalerowdy, Mar 7, 2021
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