Walkers Crisps have announced that, after 73 years of production, they are just about to finish their first sack of potatoes.
Oldie but goodie. I went for a job as a labourer on a building site. The gaffer said ‘Can you make a cup of tea?’ I said ‘yes’. He said ‘can you drive a forklift?’ I said ‘ how big is the f*cking teapot?’
If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you would have £49.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you would have £33.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you would have £0.00 today. If you had purchased £1,000 of shares in Northern Rock three years ago, you would have £0.00 today. But, if you had purchased £1,000 worth of beer one year ago at Tesco, drank all the beer, then taken the aluminium cans to the scrap metal dealer, you would have received a £214.00. Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily and recycle. A recent study found that the average Briton walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Britons drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Britons get about 41 miles to the gallon! Makes you proud to be British.