Jokes

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When a male octopus finds a mate, he rips off his c*ck and throws it at the female octopus so that she can inseminate herself. Then the male grows a new c*ck !

If that Isn’t the most epic way to tell someone to go and f*ck themselves, I really don’t know what is

 

I said to the missus, "I saw a woman with her tits out on the bus feeding her son."
She said, "It's natural."
"Natural?" I replied, "She was giving him crisps."

 

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COCA-COLA employees were told in an online training to "try to be less white" in an effort to combat racism discrimination.

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The BBC were proposing to teach people how to drink water, even got to the stage of having a seminar with 30 employees on the pros and cons of the programme.
I suppose some of the weaker minds would do as they were told, especially if they got a certificate to say they had passed their water drinking test

 

BBC passed so much water it was called taking the pish

 

That Britain hating paedophile establishment should be shut down, piss taking bastards.

 

just heard today they are charging Americans and Canadians 4 quid a month for it and have made a million so far but all the programs shown were bought by British taxpayers, yet they cant (wont) drop the licence fee down , as they would rather prosecute your Grannie.
yet they tell the gov they are not for profit yet sell BBC news all over the world.bastards

 

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You can be a cruel bastard, OLOF.

 

Thanks Brissy

 

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Just opened a birthday card and loads of rice fell out of it.

Must have been from my uncle Ben.

 

Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses & a mask at the same time???

You may be entitled to condensation......