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Off Topic Fart Food

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021.

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  1. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Yeah, I know, who needs to grow up when you can act like a twelve-year-old and post threads about letting off?! Anyway, Branston Baked Beans (even half a can does the trick) for me. What maketh you fart? Over to you.
     
    #1
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021
  2. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Oh, and here is a fart fact - 99% of a fart is odourless, apparently (oh yeah?)
     
    #2
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021
  3. Rudekid

    Rudekid Well-Known Member

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    Tofu is horrific
     
    #3
    Rudekid, Feb 10, 2021
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  4. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Also known as "bean curd"
     
    #4
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021
  5. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    Fart slang - SBD (silent but deadly).
     
    #5
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021
  6. Rudekid

    Rudekid Well-Known Member

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    It really is nasty
     
    #6
    Rudekid, Feb 10, 2021
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  7. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    <laugh> Great for when you are in a lift! Get that!
     
    #7
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021
  8. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    Crisps and beer
     
    #8
    Albert's Chip Shop, Feb 10, 2021
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  9. Darren Peacock’s Ponytail

    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail Well-Known Member

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    Eating healthy
     
    #9
    Darren Peacock’s Ponytail, Feb 10, 2021
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  10. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    T. My missus insists on six or seven veg in her home-made soup. Its blast-off the following day.
     
    #10
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 10, 2021
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  11. cronemeister

    cronemeister Well-Known Member

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    Stuff with onions and garlic in. I make a mean spag bol but **** me does my house turn green within a couple of hours of eating it !!. Meaty farts.....nice !!
     
    #11
    cronemeister, Feb 11, 2021
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  12. Sheikh_of_Araby

    Sheikh_of_Araby Well-Known Member

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    Everything makes me fart these days.

    Worst culprits - beans, vegetables, spicy food and apples.
     
    #12
    Sheikh_of_Araby, Feb 11, 2021
  13. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    <laugh> Come on lads, let it all out..."Better out than in" as they say.
     
    #13
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 11, 2021
  14. harrywinspear

    harrywinspear Member

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    That is bad on so many levels
     
    #14
    harrywinspear, Feb 11, 2021
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  15. Welshie

    Welshie Chavcunt fanboy dickhead

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    Spicy food gets me going something horrific, proper stinky. You know when you fart and the heat of it surprises you?

    Girlfriend has all but banned noodles too, like pot noodle ****? No matter the flavour it is instantly converted into gas.
     
    #15
    Welshie, Feb 11, 2021
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  16. LiamO

    LiamO Well-Known Member

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    My missus is Turkish and she makes a delicious chick-peas with lamb and onions in a spicy tomato sauce.

    She ****ing hates me the next day!!

    <laugh>
     
    #16
    LiamO, Feb 11, 2021
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  17. Delusional Full Stop

    Delusional Full Stop Here to serve all your counselling needs.
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    upload_2021-2-11_13-38-36.jpeg

    The same could be said about that joke.
     
    #17
    Delusional Full Stop, Feb 11, 2021
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  18. Dorty Dogbreath

    Dorty Dogbreath keeper of the glow

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    My dog...
    "Lifting" in fact. Just like what a good fart should smell like.
     
    #18
    Dorty Dogbreath, Feb 11, 2021
  19. boxheed

    boxheed Well-Known Member

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    Age
     
    #19
    boxheed, Feb 11, 2021
  20. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    I can't be doing with farting these days, just sh!t meself and be done with it.
     
    #20
    jimileysbaldhead, Feb 11, 2021
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