Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

Mrs AS woke up to a couple of inches this morning!

 

Johann Sebastian mighty Bach as Organ Morgan would say.

 

A couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary and a local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.

Well, it dates back to our honeymoon, explained the lady.

We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the canyon by pack mule.
We hadn't gone too far when my husband s mule stumbled.
My husband quietly said, "That's once."

We proceeded a little farther when the mule stumbled again.
My husband quietly said, "That's twice."

We hadn't gone a half-mile when the mule stumbled a third time.
My husband took a pistol from his pocket and shot him.

I started to protest over his treatment of the mule when he looked at me and quietly said, "That's once."

 

Please could we have a volunteer for the Saints v Wolves game on Sunday 14th Feb at 12:00 pm (Amazon Prime)?

 

Just blame it on the cold

 

Sorry to hear that TM.

Hopefully she felt no pain and you can remember the joy she gave you over 14 ½ years.

Take care

 

Bit of a long shot but does anyone know a sniper?

 

Who’s upset you now, Richie?
My next door neighbour stalks and shoots deer - do you want me to give him your number?

 

RIP

 

The like for the post was a

RIP

 

If this is genuine, this is funny.

 

It was true then

 

Just saw it on ITV News at 10. Even Tom Bradby was pissing himself

 

Mrs No7 just asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl.

I said no I didn’t know he could.

 

Mexicans aren’t widely known for their cricket ability, despite being an Associate member of the ICC, so that might be why your chihuahuas aren’t showing their skills.
Keep working them in the nets.

 

An elderly man living alone in Milton Keynes wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was very difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son, Paul, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Paul,
I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like I won’t be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I’m just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over.. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.
Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Don’t dig up that garden. That’s where the bodies are buried.
Love,
Paul.

At 4 a.m. the next morning, CID officers and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son.

Dear Dad,
Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That’s the best I could do under the circumstances.