There are concerns that Russell Crowe's wife has vanished and he may have turned cannibal ... ... I never like her tbh, in fact I'm glad he ate her.
My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family". The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Premature Ejaculation. I remember going on a first date when I had to broach this subject. We had only been in the restaurant 10 minutes when I blurted out “ I have to explain something, I suffer from Premature Ejaculation” “That’s presumptuous” she replied, “I haven’t decided whether I was going to sleep with you. “ “ I know it’s just I didn’t want you to think I had wet myself. “
To encourage me to eat when I was young my mam would put food on a spoon and say "here comes the train, here comes the train" It always worked because she wouldn't untie me from the track until I'd eaten it!
