Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

They could do a better job

 

Sometimes being too 'woke' really does you no favours...

 

I'm never sure when someone is being crazily woke or being humorous....makes no difference I suppose, you can laugh at both.

 

I'm guessing that he hadn't put the bins out.

 

Not woke or humorous just plain stupid and very silly.

Most males of the bovine species end up with no name, castrated and eaten as veal or beef. They don't even have the dignity of being given different names.

 

Agree with very silly...I just hope some of them grow out of it....I find it amazing that something that is about being caring and tolerant actually mutates into intolerance and hatred.

 

FFS

 

I've just seen @thereisonlyoneno7 doing Louis Armstrong on karaoke, and I don't think I'll be the same ever again.

 

I watched it as well,

 

Scary!! Please tell me where it is (so I can avoid it)

 

Facebook. Ban yourself from all social media just in case!

 

Phew! I’m not “friends” with him (I’m very picky )

 

It's less the voice, more the dancing

 

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform.
He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works.
Finally, the doctor says to him: "This is all in your mind" and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits, the shrink confesses: "I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured."
Finally, the psychiatrist refers him to a witch doctor.

The witch doctor says: "I can cure this."
He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
The witch doctor says: "This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year!
All you have to do is say '1-2-3' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks the witch doctor:
"What happens when it's over?"
The witch doctor says:
"All you or your partner has to say is '1234' and it will go down.
But be warned; it will not work again for a year!"

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news.
So, he is lying in bed with her and says:
"1-2-3" and suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says:
"What did you say '1-2-3' for?

 

I am a black belt in karaoke. I sing and people die


In fact, sometimes I sing so badly that deaf people refuse to read my lips.

 

It did look like you guys had fun though

 

Three Irish pals chatting in the pub and the subject turns to how proficient they are at sex.

Seamus says "When I make love to my wife and she reaches her climax she floats a few inches above the bed"

Michael replies with "Well, when I make love to my wife my skill is so finely tuned that her orgasm causes her to rise almost two feet into the air!"

Patrick isn’t impressed with any of that and after finishing his pint he says "That's nothing. When I’ve finished shagging my wife, I just wipe my knob on the curtains and she hits the roof!"

 

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at a Traffic Warden's funeral,
a voice from inside screams: "I'm not dead, I'm not dead.
Let me out!"
The Vicar smiles,
leans forward sucking air through his teeth and mutters:
"Too late pal, I've already done the paperwork."

 

Yep a true lockdown birthday party for Mrs No7

If you can't go to the party, the party just has to come to you