The headmaster at my school used to love giving me the cane ... ... I've just heard he's died with the virus. Just like then, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
An elderly Irishman goes to the doctor, who after examining him says “You have some problems with your heart, but if you take these tablets, it should be okay.“ So the doctor gives the man the tablets and the patient asks, “Do I have to take them every day? ”No,” replies the doctor, “take one on the Monday, skip the Tuesday, take one on the Wednesday, skip the Thursday and go on like that.“ Two weeks later the doctor is walking down the street, and he sees the patient’s wife. "Hello Mrs Murphy,” he says, “how’s your husband?” “Oh he died of a heart attack,” says Mrs Murphy. “I’m very sorry to hear that,” says the doctor, “I thought that if he took those tablets he would be all right.” “Oh the tablets were fine,” says Mrs Murphy, “It was all the bloody skipping that killed him!”