Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

A wise old man told me I need to pee on them everyday in the shower....

... and you were correct

 

That's from all the resting on the bench.

 

I bought the same one....was slightly tight so I thought I'd wear it when I was slimmer.
It didn't happen

 

You were the first person I thought of, if anyone wanted to take it.

 

Creep

 

Kylie didn't want it then?

 

I went to the doctors cos I was having some hearing difficulties.

He said “. Can you describe the symptoms”

I said “ Homer is a yellow fat bloke and Marge has blue Hair”

 

Fran was the first person after my wife didn’t want it. Who said my wife was the first person offered it?

 

I was talking the other day about the safeguarding and child protection work I’m involved in out in Kuwait. I’m giddy at the moment because my team, through the school, has just won an International Schools Award! I believe that it’s the first time a school in Kuwait has won and we were up against tons of big, for-profit British schools in other countries. We’ve been nominated in other sections before but never won. Unfortunately due to COVID we won’t get the real prize which is a few staff getting to have a paid trip to London to get the award!

 

Congratulations SiK! That is a truly remarkable and awesome achievement! Well done you and the team!

 

congratulations - try and tie the trip in for when Saints are away to a London club

 

Thanks folks. I’m going to celebrate in style by having a room service cobb salad and a single beer, alone in my hotel room, while the maintenance guys attempt to repair the leaking toilet in my bathroom.

This is how you’re supposed to celebrate great achievements.

 

Wow the wildest man in Wildman's land. Have a gold star for winning the award.

 

A little girl runs into the house, in tears, holding her hand.

She runs up to Dad and says,'daddy, daddy I need cider, I've hurt my hand on the rose bush outside... get me some cider.'

Dad's a bit perplexed by this infant alcoholic, but before he can talk to her, she runs off to see Mum.

'Mummy, mummy I've hurt my hand on the rose bush outside. It's bleeding, I need some cider!'

'But darling why do you need cider for a cut from the rose bush?'

'I overheard my big sister telling her best friend Judy, that when she gets a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it inside her!'

 

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Maybe they’re making it list on porpoise? There's dolphinately no problem

 

Two new DJ’s for The Boat that Rocked?

 

They're having a whale of a time.

 

I thought it was