Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

<blockquote class="twitter-tweet"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">can’t stop watching <a href="https://t.co/PeoB7SzgIY">pic.twitter.com/PeoB7SzgIY</a></p>&mdash; Flo &amp; Joan (@FloandJoan) <a href="">December 23, 2020</a></blockquote> <script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>

 

Your twitter feed has suffered meltdown.

 

https://9gag.com/gag/ax9p8rY
this old guy doesn't mess around

 

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Bloke gets wrecked on desert island, he’s the only one on there.

Next day someone else gets wrecked there and it turns out to be a woman. Bloke goes down to say hello and finds out it’s Michelle Pfeiffer. He thinks, fantastic, I’m in here, and she says,

“There’s just the two of us here, how about we make this a friendly and a physical relationship?”

He thinks, bloody hell, that’s marvellous that, stranded on a desert island, having it off with Michelle Pfeiffer.
So he’s doing this for about two or three days, and he says to her,

“You couldn’t put a false moustache on, could you, draw it out of the embers of the fire, then put this hat on and let me call you Frank?”

She thinks it’s a bit weird but agrees anyway, puts the hat and moustache on and says,

“Hey, it’s me, Frank, how you doing?”

And he turns around and says,

“Hey Frank, you’ll never guess who I’m shaggin’…”

 

Why is the washing machine almost always in the kitchen in English homes?
Makes no sense

 

The kitchen is where the water is.

 

Pretty sure there’s water in bathrooms too, which I assume is what Febbos means as they’re in bathrooms in lots of countries.
Our electrical regs make it more awkward though as you can’t have 240v too close to baths or showers and most people’s bathrooms aren’t big enough.

So I think the answer is electrical/building regulations?

Bathrooms would make more sense though.

 

Outside in the shed makes the most sense.

 

We have a utility room. I thought everyone had a utility room...

 

We're not pretentious enough to have 'utility rooms', we have a scullery.

 

Makes perfect sense. The wife’s already in the kitchen doing the cooking and washing up there’s no point in her wasting her precious time running upstairs to get the washing.

 

There may well be water in the ****house but there ain't no leccy.

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Not enough space for a washing machine either

 

Just got back from a friend's funeral who drowned last week.
I got a lot of abuse from his relatives about my floral tribute in the shape of a lifejacket.
But as I told everyone 'It's what he would've wanted...

 

We had, the council knocked down the dividing wall to make the kitchen bigger.

 

They seem to have declined with the coming of internet based news papers.

 

Do you live in Melbourne or Sydney?