Christmas Ruined As China Bans Export Of Fake Plastic Dogshit And Whoopie Cushions please log in to view this image Prime Minister Scott Morrison opened his morning press conference today with four repeated words as China moves their bishops out into the centre of the board. “F*ck! F*ck! F*ck! F*ck!” said Scott. “They’ve ruined Christmas.” Overnight, the China Trade Commission slapped an export ban on fake plastic dog sh*t and whoopie cushions. Both of which are Santa Sack staples across the country. The move has resulted in Trade Minister Andrew Gee scrambling to find an alternative supply of the classic prank items.