Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Why the long face ?

 

An old one, but I haven't seen it for a while.

 

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Dog with 3 legs walks into the Sheriff's office.

"I've come for ma paw....."

 

From now on, I'll believe in The Prophet Muhammad ...
I decided to go to the local Mosque for the first time, to see what it was all about.
I sat down and the Imam came up to me, laid his hands on my hand and said:
"By the will of Allah the All Mighty, and the Prophet Muhammad, you will walk today."
I told him I was not paralyzed.
He came back and laid his hands on me and repeated the same thing.
Once again, I told him there is nothing wrong with me.
After the prayers, I stepped outside - and bugger me - my car was gone!

 

skinny little guy gets into a lift. There is a man mountain already there. The little guy looks up at the big fella and just stares. The big fella looks down at him and says "Two and a half metres, 130 kilos, twenty centimetre cock and balls weigh two kilos, Turner-Brown". The little guy falls over in a dead feint. He comes to with the big man standing over him. "I'm sorry", he says. "I just answered all the questions that people usually ask me, my height, weight, personal details and my name is Turner-Brown". "Oh, thank God", says the Little guy, "I thought you said turn around."

 

So its not just me who has noticed then.

 

An armed man has just run into an estate agents and shouted "Nobody move"

 

All these people saying "I didn't like Maradona as a person but what a player RIP". F*ck me that's like saying "Peter Sutcliffe, evil murdering c*nt but what a lorry driver RIP."

 

Risky, but ****ing brill