American Politics

Used to be six foot iirc but it discriminated against short Asians so it got scrapped. Those were the days where you looked up to the fuzz figuratively as well as physically, nowadays they are often at my eye level which doesn't fill me with enthusiasm being such a shortarse.

 

It's funny watching a five foot 5 chubby Indian and a gobby fat feminist trying to put cuffs on a 6 ft 6 Somalian offender though.

 

The cops had reason to call to my old house a few years ago and it was 2 small overweight women. I'm no Mike Tyson but I could genuinely knock both out if they weren't armed right enough

 

Online grooming?

 

Grooming is for pooves, old school cosh for this registered sex offender

 

NI cops carry guns but Scot , eng and wales don’t ...

imagine the mess if they all did

 

Can't remember the last time they fired a shot tbh, imagine the Nige cops with guns fs

Now I think about it, am I on the oppression list having to deal with armed police who have powers of stop and search for any reason they see fit?

 

Yes

 

What do I get?

 

A Blue Peter Badge.

Gets you in free to exhibitions and galleries, if there's any of them open that is.

 

You get a kick in the arse and told to run along sonny,old school policing.

 

I saw a fat pair of women British transport police checking for fare dodgers on a bus .

They approached a black teenager that didn't have credit on his oyster and told him they were going to give him a fixed penalty.

He got off the bus , one tried to put his arm round his back and he just shoved her on her arse .

The driver switched off the engine and the boy just calmly walked away .

2 squad cars rocked up and the lady pig was crying .

 

I was having a few cans on Parnell street about 20 years ago with a few mates before I think it was a Tyrone game and these two big countey monsters of Guards slapped **** out of us.

Simpler times

 

Cop stopped me when I was 15 with hash and a bottle of buckfast

the bottle of buckfast was up my sleeve

he told me to get rid of hash quick , I ate it ..

he then wacked the bottle of Bucky with his paddy stick and it cracked ... Bucky all down me

told me to get off street before he would kick my **** in and he laughed and told me good luck facing up to my maw out my box stinking of Bucky!

 

That is proper policing , job done no paperwork or criminal record.

Now they start filming the pigs and goading them , if they are bame complaints get put in pig suspended and compo sought.

 

Wee c and his mates had been acting the arseholes that time they called, I was mortified and apologised profusely so they just effectively told him off and I barred him from the town till he was 18 (Turned 18 on 6th March slap bang before the lockdown lolz) a couple of his mates Maws apparently gave the the my son is an angel blah blah blah and their sons were charged and have a criminal record. Some parents are fkn spastics

 

I was caught in West London after getting steamboats on Tequila, I ran over a car a meat wagon pulled up that exact time so I ran and hid in someone's garden.

Eventually got dragged out I started gobbing off and they cuffed me and bounced me about in the back of a meat wagon on the way to Paddington Green.

Nearly broke my wrists.

I insisted on seeing my mate who is a barrister but he was fast asleep.

Next morning I sat down and spoke to them without a brief and ended up at Horseferry Road Magistrates Court.

I had a box cutter in my rucksack and they anally fisted me , £800 to destroy my bladed article and D and D permanent criminal record.

Nearly lost my gaming license over it , I was only 20 at the time.

 

Most cops when I was younger were sound enough ...

I rarely gave them cheek when lifted as if I got charged within anything then my dad would have knocked **** out of me ...then my maw would have punched my **** in.

Few on spot fines for d and d , pissing in street and weed possession.

This is recent , 6 points on licence !!

First stop i fessed up straighy away when he asked why he stopped me and had a apologised wtc

he changed ticket from wreckers driving to general speeding ... I was doing 57 in a 30.

In general , if it’s minor , don’t be a dick to cops and they’ll generally be ok with you .

 

I got pulled over 3 times in one night, the third time was about 500 yards away from the 2nd time and I was proper fuming. Five-O said it was because I fitted the description of someone they were looking for which was surprising to say the least because a) I am not a negro, b) there must have been another shortarsed punk with a leather jaykit and Dr Martens driving a beaten up Ford Escort and 4) this hadn't been mentioned the previous two times on the same evening.

C.unt gave me a producer anyway.

Turned up at Ladbroke Grove (hence the name) nick and when I moaned at being stopped 3 times in one night the burd at the counter looked at my car details then looked at me and said I should count myself lucky I don't get nicked more often looking like I do and driving an old banger. Crest. Fallen.