Off Topic The Goodhand Arms

wow . Is that somewhere in Spain ?

How many other arts are dying out across the world ?

 

On the Costa Blanca, about 30 minutes south of Alicante airport.

 

I was woken up this morning by a fella trying to pinch my gate. I thought I'd better not say anything in case he takes a fence

 

I had a dream that I had died and gone to heaven. I was in a room and there were billions of clocks on the wall. I asked God what they were for? God replied each clock represents one person on earth so it's everybody's lifetime clock. I said I noticed some of them jump forward one hour why is that? He said every time someone has a w*nk it takes an hour off their life. I said I can't see Boris Johnsons clock anywhere. God said we keep that in the kitchen as a fan.

 

A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The barman says, "What an interesting pet. What's his name?" "Tiny," the man replies. "What an odd name. Why do you call him Tiny?"
"Because, he's my newt!"

 

A man walked into a bar. He said F**king Hell that hurt.

 

A Duck walks into a bar looking really happy. The barman asks who are you and why are you so happy? The duck replied I'm Huey I'm happy because I've been in and out of puddles all day. The following day another duck come in looking very happy. Who are you and why are you so happy? The duck replied I'm Dewie and I'm happy because I've been in and out of puddles all day. The following day another duck comes in looking miserable. The barman said don't tell me you must be Louie ? No said the duck I'm Puddles.

 

Southampton Park and Ride scheme moving closer.

https://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/18730012.southampton-park-ride-new-bus-lanes/

 

Just found this fine fellow in my garden, looking very tired and hungry. Anyone know about parrots? This one is about blackbird size.

 

Yes, it’s a green and yellow one.

 

It certainly is. The owner came looking for it just now, but it’s flown off into the fields behind the house now.

 

Hope it gets taken home safely . Though I have my doubts .

 

There’s a large task force out behind my row, armed with butterfly nets, washing baskets, and cardboard boxes. It hasn’t gone far, I think it wants to go home, hopefully it is caught before the neighbourhood cats intervene.

 

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Oh my.... I’ve been asking myself why Saints don’t do a cycle range.

Heaven

 

Just a shame it’s all black. Need bright on a bike. I never understand cyclists I see out wearing black. Looks smart but not easy to see at a glance for drivers.

nobody has a problem seeing me

 

Strangely the real danger is other birds. It will be regarded as a threat and may be mobbed.