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Bohemian Rap-City AFC

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by dazzar86, Aug 1, 2020.

  1. dazzar86

    dazzar86 Well-Known Member

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    Some of you may have already seen this as I posted it a week or so back on Twitter. Posting here at the request of Askewshair.

    A few weeks back I was laid in bed recovering from surgery. The Athletic article had come out and Ehab had responded with an interview with Burnsy. I put my Spotify on Shuffle to chill out as his response had annoyed me and many others.
    On came a very angry rap song by Ice Cube called No Vaseline, which inspired me to write my own rap about the Allam's and their treatment of Hull City and its fans.

    We've been through so much with them - highs and lows, so many twists and turns, just like Bohemian Rhapsody. Hence: Bohemian Rap-City AFC.
     
    #1
  2. dazzar86

    dazzar86 Well-Known Member

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    Allam's in a mess cuz HCC won't sell em the KC,
    Probably shoulda tried bribe em like Delroy Facey,

    Now Assem's toys are thrown out the pram,
    The clubs heritage now becomes the sacrificial lamb,

    Reads the Harvard business review and thinks he's a bright spark,
    Just the start of the mess that brings shame on the West Park,

    Wants to change the name to something sharp N shorter,
    The gimmick of Hull Tigers he tells a reporter,

    City Til I Die is revealed in big bold font,
    Assem tells us we can go and die when we want,

    Was like he was challenged that he couldn't be meaner,
    So he goes an kicks the community out the Gemtec Arena,

    Reiterates that a shorter name is much better,
    City up to Tigers ain't that another two letter?!

    It's clear to see that Assem Allam is deranged,
    None of us fans want the name to be changed,

    Another loss when the FA tell him where to go,
    He thinks how are we supposed to make money in China, though?!

    You rival Boris for lies every time you've spoken,
    Leave after 24 hours, yo Assem your watch is broken,

    "A gift to the city" , "should be free like air",
    You're as dodgy as a games stall at Hull Fair,

    If you don't get your way you'll "sell it for a pound",
    Millions taken out, yet you're still hanging round,

    There was success with big man Steve Bruce,
    Papas out the way and the spoilt child let loose,

    Everyone thinks it's time for you to leave,
    But boy blunder can't be arsed to meet with Grieve,

    The Athletic never mentioned no hotel bedroom,
    Clearly let slip a fantasy stored in your headroom,

    Back to the Prem with a rocket from Diame,
    Ehab guns blazin' thinks he's the army,

    Beginning of the end as we lose Brucie,
    All part of a bigger plan that only you see,

    Your lack of action saw us with only eleven in a squad,
    Trampled every week like a stinky dog tod,

    Down we go again thanks to your in-action,
    You think how can I cause more supporter fraction,

    Out go concessions for kiddies, the disabled and OAPs,
    In comes freebies, loans and minimal transfer fees,

    More o'the fans decide to say see ye later,
    As the decline continues under the great dictator,

    Your dad was a looney, but at least he's competent,
    Ehab check your brain cells, I think perhaps you're impotent,

    Parks like a tw*t sticking his car across two bays,
    Yo check your hairline, better off investing in toupees,

    Mr businessman with his sh!t membership scheme,
    As crowds tumble down to the lowest they've been,

    Recipe for success, he thinks he's the key,
    Goes and f**ks up another deal with Chien Lee,

    He says we're the best run club in the league,
    Whilst giving each manager mental fatigue,

    The bullish!t you come out with I think ye trippin,
    Best run club, at what?! Asset-strippin?

    You can't take criticism act like its a sin,
    Have another paddy and send Burnsy to the bin,

    One day you're gone and the pros will tell us how they feel,
    Yeah Ehab, why does no one ever sign a new deal?

    Acts like he knows all, like he's now got a footballing degree,
    Which is why he's so insistent on playing four-three-three,

    Wants to be Brentford but he's so far from it,
    Only Stevie Bruce's men sold for a profit,

    Another player sold, another luxury toy for the man child,
    Can't stop this HCAFC juggernaut cos like a tiger we're wild,

    The clubs in free fall yet you still don't give a f**k,
    Yet another paddy, now this time you ban Phil Buck,

    Desperate to stop the restart as you know we're in a state,
    Maybe you could have blocked them with your terrorist gate?!

    You caused this mess no matter how much you try your cr*p spin,
    Sold us down the river without our leader and vice-captain,

    You know you've messed up no matter what you plea,
    Look at the crowds, we had more in old Division Three,

    Sad little man you get off on being the bad guy,
    Defiant as ever, we are City Til We Die!
     
    #2
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2020
  3. Plum

    Plum Well-Known Member

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    Err, get well soon. :emoticon-0105-wink:
     
    #3
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  4. Mr Hatem

    Mr Hatem Well-Known Member

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    Next!
     
    #4
  5. dazzar86

    dazzar86 Well-Known Member

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    Go on then.
     
    #5
  6. Gone For A Walk

    Gone For A Walk Well-Known Member

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    Not my thang but fair play <applause>
     
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    Last edited: Aug 1, 2020
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  7. Chazz Rheinhold

    Chazz Rheinhold Well-Known Member

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    Well done mate
     
    #7
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  8. LeftSaidFred

    LeftSaidFred Well-Known Member

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    Good stuff Dazzar, had a few chuckles there.
     
    #8
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  9. askewshair

    askewshair Well-Known Member

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    Thanks dazzar, great effort
     
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  10. Sir Cheshire Ben

    Sir Cheshire Ben Well-Known Member

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    Top effort!
     
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  11. tigerscanada

    tigerscanada Well-Known Member

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    Well done.
    Not a single Scaramouche, fandango, Figaro or Galileo mentioned - nor a reference to Beelzebub.
    Legally safe. Award looming.<cheers>:emoticon-0100-smile:emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #11
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  12. balkan tiger

    balkan tiger Well-Known Member

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    Scared for his life and his pork sausages.
     
    #12
  13. dennisboothstash

    dennisboothstash Well-Known Member

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    Good stuff Dazzar :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #13
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  14. Ernie Shackleton

    Ernie Shackleton Well-Known Member

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    Great stuff.

    I was rapping it in my head as I was reading; it'd be great to have a recorded version.

    Dazzar?




    Or maybe Hatem?
     
    #14
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  15. LeftSaidFred

    LeftSaidFred Well-Known Member

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    Are there any talented ones on here? Otherwise maybe get that bloke from NHE to do it?

    Whatever it needs laying down fo’sure.
     
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  16. dazzar86

    dazzar86 Well-Known Member

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    I chatted with Chiedu Oraka (Hull rapper) about it last week - although he's a Newcastle fan, he loves the city and has mentioned Hull City (in a positive way) in one of his songs.

    He said I've done really well with it and it's clear to see how passionate I am about the subject, and I should perform it.
    As much as I love music, I'm not sure I have the talent for that and I did tell him if I did it, it would sound dreadful.
     
    #16

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