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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

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  1. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    The local wig shop got broken into last night...

    They've had to replace all the locks!
     
    #6061
    Vincemac, Jul 23, 2020
    Draig, MrRAWhite, Gil T Azell and 4 others like this.
  2. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I’ve just finished building a model of Mount Everest.

    My mate asked “Is it to scale?”

    “No” I replied, “It’s to look at”
     
    #6062
    Gil T Azell, Jul 23, 2020
    Saf, Draig, Smug in Boots and 8 others like this.
  3. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Some half-caste with dreadlocks called at my Midlands semi to read the water meter. I think it was Severn Trent, Derby.
     
    #6063
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
    Gil T Azell, Jul 23, 2020
    MrRAWhite, farnboromackem, rooch 3 and 2 others like this.
  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    My son had his car customised and asked them to put a spoiler on the back. So they painted 'Bruce Willis is a ghost in the sixth sense' on the boot.
     
    #6064
    Gil T Azell, Jul 23, 2020
    Saf, Smug in Boots, MrRAWhite and 3 others like this.
  5. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-7-25_10-9-2.png upload_2020-7-25_10-9-2.jpeg
     
    #6065
    Vincemac, Jul 25, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and MrRAWhite like this.
  6. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    #6066
    rooch 3, Jul 25, 2020
    Makemstine Roger and MrRAWhite like this.
  7. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    mrbit.jpg
     
    #6067
    Gil T Azell, Jul 25, 2020
    Saf, Nordic, Smug in Boots and 3 others like this.
  8. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    txt.jpg
     
    #6068
    Gil T Azell, Jul 25, 2020
    rooch 3 and Gordon Armstrong like this.
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A young widow goes to see her gynecologist for an examination. He says to her "You're still a virgin but you've been married three times . . . . how come?"
    The widow replies "My first husband was an astronomer, and all that he did was stare at it. The second was a psychologist, and all that he did was talk to it. My third husband was a stamp collector . . . . bloody hell, I do miss him :angel:
     
    #6069
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 26, 2020
    Saf, Draig and Gil T Azell like this.
  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    Need an Ark?

    I Noah Guy :emoticon-0148-yes:
     
    #6070
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 26, 2020
    Gil T Azell likes this.

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    108203407_139293047823066_4168368793205686105_n.jpg
     
    #6071
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 26, 2020
    Saf, Gil T Azell and Makemstine Roger like this.
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    108814509_10157298842762478_4015332820702667077_n.jpg
     
    #6072
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 26, 2020
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  13. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    upload_2020-7-7_14-19-54.png
     
    #6073
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 26, 2020
    Saf, Sandy Camel, Nordic and 5 others like this.
  14. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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    upload_2020-7-27_12-39-48.png upload_2020-7-27_12-39-48.jpeg
     
    #6074
    Vincemac, Jul 27, 2020
    Gil T Azell and cumbrianmackem like this.
  15. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic.
    He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for £500 - if not cured get back £1,000."
    Doctor "Young" who was positive that this old geezer didn't know anything about medicine, thought that this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000 so he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened.
    Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth . . . . can you please help me?
    Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
    Dr. Young: "Aaagh . . . . this is petrol !"
    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations . . . . you've got your taste back. That will be £500."
    Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days to try to recover his money.
    Dr Young: "I have lost my memory . . . . I cannot remember anything."
    Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."
    Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't . . . . that's petrol"
    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations . . . . you've got your memory back. That will be £500."
    Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after a few more days.
    Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak, and I can hardly see"
    Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that, so here's your £1000 back."
    Dr. Young: "But this is only £500"
    Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations . . . . you've got your vision back. That will be £500."

    Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer"
    please log in to view this image
     
    #6075
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 27, 2020
    RTB, Saf, Gil T Azell and 2 others like this.
  16. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6076
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 27, 2020
    Draig likes this.
  17. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6077
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 27, 2020
    Draig and Gil T Azell like this.
  18. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #6078
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 27, 2020
    Gil T Azell and farnboromackem like this.
  19. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6079
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 27, 2020
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    #6080
    Gordon Armstrong, Jul 27, 2020
    Gil T Azell likes this.
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