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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The Yorkshire Cocktail.....

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    #9861
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2020
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9862
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2020
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9863
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2020
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just heard that a guy has collapsed on the London Eye today.

    Paramedics on the scene say he's coming around slowly.
     
    #9864
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2020
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  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9865
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 26, 2020
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  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9866
    kiwiqpr, Jul 27, 2020
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  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9867
    kiwiqpr, Jul 27, 2020
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #9868
    kiwiqpr, Jul 27, 2020
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  9. surreyhoop

    surreyhoop Well-Known Member

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    116710990_10158910419344669_7111763119603048380_n.jpg
     
    #9869
    surreyhoop, Jul 27, 2020
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  10. GroveRanger

    GroveRanger Well-Known Member

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    I went to a new restaurant the other day called Karma. They had no menus, I just got what I deserved.
     
    #9870
    GroveRanger, Jul 28, 2020
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A young doctor moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.
    The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.
    At the first house a woman complains, “I’ve been a little sick to my stomach.”
    The older doctor says, “Well, you’ve probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Cut back on the amount you’ve been eating and see if that does the trick?”
    As they left, the younger man said, “You didn’t even examine that woman? How’d you come to the diagnosis so quickly?”
    “I didn’t have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the bin. That was what probably was making her sick.”
    The younger doctor said, “Pretty clever. If you don’t mind, I think I’ll try that at the next house.”
    Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn’t have the energy she once did and said, “I’m feeling terribly run down lately.”
    “You’ve probably been doing too much for the church,” the younger doctor told her. “Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps.”
    As they left, the elder doctor said, “I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is most certainly correct, she’s very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?”
    “I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and, when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the priest under the bed
     
    #9871
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2020
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9872
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2020
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9873
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 28, 2020
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was invited to a dinner where they cook a whole male sheep

    I declined this as I feared for the ramifications......
     
    #9874
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9875
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9876
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #9877
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy's Wife cones home from her Doctor's Appointment and Paddy asks her how she got on...
    "Oh I done well" she said, "the Dr told me I had a lovely Vagina"
    Paddy was furious at this, and walked down to the Doctor's Surgery, in a pure rage he demands to see his Wife's GP... After about 10 mins the Dr comes out and says...
    "Whats the meaning of this outrage Paddy?"
    Paddy storms at the GP and says
    "Whats this I hear about you telling my Wife she has a lovely vagina??"
    The Doctor was shocked at this! and turned to Paddy and said...
    "I did not say that! I told your Wife she had Acute Angina!"
     
    #9878
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I was at a job interview yesterday when the manager handed me a laptop and said: “I want you to try to sell this to me.”
    So I put it under my arm, left the building and went home.
    Later he called me and said: “Bring my laptop back now.”
    I said: “£200 and it’s yours.”
     
    #9879
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I'm sure there's a cream for that...

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    #9880
    Wooperts_duck, Jul 29, 2020
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