Off Topic Mental Health Discussion Thread

Fingers and everything crossed TOM.

 

Fingers well and truly crossed for you and your family.

 

The scan of Hull City on Sunday says we definitely have it.... the scan on Thursday will tell us Hull City will need long term treatment.

Thats not to make light of your situation TOM... truly hoping your lady's results are better than ours...

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www....th-ryan-addison-hull-humber-a9624111.html?amp

 

A real scandal.

 

Not been around for a while. A coping strategy. But logged back in lately. Hope you're all well. I'm not doing great, mentally, but hoping it will get better soon. This thread is good, as I once said x

Wishing Newbald and TOM all the best.

 

There's been a few times I've nearly posted on this thread over the last few months - often read it though and it's great to see Hull City fans supporting other Hull City fans and this acts as a gentle reminder that anybody can be going through anything and being down about things is something everybody goes through.

Not too long ago everything felt great for me - I had the job I wanted, moved into the house I wanted and set a date to get married in September.


I was then made redundant and it knocked me for six - I felt like I was undervalued, had a lot more to give than the company were allowing me to and generally didn't think my manager's reasoning behind the redundancy was justified (she had only been in her role 2 and half weeks!). I knew how good I was at my job, but it still didn't stop me questioning my own ability once I left.
At the same time I'd just had a scan at the hospital which confirmed I needed surgery so I was struggling with pain.

I gave myself a bit of time before looking for new work, but was then left frustrated as I had numerous interviews lined up and had a few businesses asking me to go self-employed and take them on as clients. Just as I was weighing up the pros and cons of my options - Coronavirus hits the UK and all those opportunities vanished - the places I had interviews for were no longer employing anyone for a role and the ones wanting me to take them on as clients no longer needed the work.

My surgery had been scheduled for March, but because of Coronavirus, it got cancelled. I then started applying for key worker jobs, as they were the only ones available - none of them wanted me, and I assume it's because I had to declare that I couldn't lift anything heavy due to awaiting a new date for surgery.

It was at this point we were wondering if we'd get to have our wedding or have a honeymoon - the double-whammy of Coronavirus and lack of work cast huge doubt about being able to go ahead.

I was in a bad place feeling worthless, but with the support of my fiancee and coming on here reading other people's problems helped me put things into perspective.
Fast-forward to the present day and I had my surgery 3 weeks ago, recovery seems to be going well (apart from a strange problem with my leg that I've had since the surgery which my GP thinks is a rare form of nerve damage) and somebody I used to work with put my name forward for a job - the company contacted me, and a couple of video interviews and email questionnaires later I've been offered a job and start in a couple of weeks!
We have had to postpone the wedding by a full year, but have been able to find a day that all our suppliers can still do - but I'm looking at the positives that it might be safer to travel for a honeymoon by September 2021 (fingers-crossed) and it now gives me a year to actually be able to afford it!
I also learned this week that the manager who made me redundant has been made redundant herself - I wouldn't wish it on anyone, but feels like a bit of karma.

I just want to say to anyone having a bad time - keep on going, you never know what is around the corner. You might feel like things are at a dead end and the whole world is against you, but if you hold on and encourage yourself just enough to push on through, things will start to fall back into place and the good feelings will return eventually.

 

This post's brought a smile to my face after a sad 24 hours for folk on this site.

Hope things keep going your way mate.

Wish you all the luck in the World.



Every day's a good day.

 

Thank you - same to you.

 

No joke Ernie, this brought a tear to my eye.

@dazzar86 , keep buggering on mate. Glad its all working out for you.

 

Great post Daz and very good advice

 

I deal with redundant workers and have been made redundant 5 times.
My daughter is once again facing redundancy in the same week as she received an award for 30 years service. She has gone through at least 12 rounds of job cuts and last week she served notice on 100 members of staff who she directly manages.

My advice to her is the same as what I give everyone.

See this as an opportunity and not as something to worry too much about. Redundant workers are not seen the same as the general unemployed. Future employers see the opportunity to employ valued employees who have lost their jobs through no fault of their own.
Take this opportunity to develop, expand or change your career.
That said, it is a worrying time, but do not get desperate or take rejection personally.
Accept and embrace change.
Share concerns and do not hide away.

If anyone has worries or concerns about redundancy feel free to contact me, if I can help you get through it, I will.

 

Thank you, Tom. I'm not redundant yet and I don't really expect to be, but things aren't looking good at our place.

 

Great post and advice. One question, why did you only 'nearly' post on here? Hope it was because you found someone else to talk to?

 

Is the coping strategy avoiding City talk? Avoiding negativity? Avoiding social media? They all make sense. I'm sure this thread (if not the forum) is fairly safe? Keep posting Trau, remember you once said this thread is good.

 

I guess it was a mixture of reasons and feelings - best way to say why probably starts by describing myself as an omnivert (a word I didn't know existed a few years ago when I did Myers Briggs - and nor did the person conducting the session, they said I had to be either introvert or extrovert - all my colleagues in the session even said I had strong traits of both). I tend to be very introvert until I feel comfortable, then I flip and I'm the opposite.

I suppose I worry about what people think and worry about the response and what people might say and worry it might break me more, I tend to bottle it all up and then it spills over, which is probably why I chose not to post and then when it spills out it tends to be quite expressive, but as mentioned - just reading what everyone else was going through helped. I wrote a rap about the Allam's treatment of City while I've been recovering from my surgery - I posted it on Twitter yesterday, but even though I spent a good amount of time writing it, wrote from the heart and completely expressed myself, I nearly just left it as a note on my phone as I was worried about what people might think. My fiancee then said to me - you've spent a lot of time on that, it would be a shame for it to go to waste. Even if only one person thinks it's good, it's worth doing it for you, so I posted it - another example of 'nearly' posting, if that helps explain?

My fiancee's mum is actually a counsellor, but lives the other side of the country - she contacted me after my fiancee realised I'd not eaten or drank anything for 3 days, so knew something was up. I had a good chat with her mum and then after that it pushed me to speak to someone locally a couple of times before lockdown.

When lockdown hit I got worse again, but then started reading books about mindset/mindfulness etc and became to realise that the virus and the lockdown are things that are out of my control and need to learn to just accept them and readjust my plans and goals accordingly until a time I can do something about them.
Once I accepted this, I found things a bit easier and was able to concentrate more on my surgery - I do appreciate though that I'm very lucky that I have a fiancee with a good job who has been really supportive throughout, even if her covering our financial outgoings put more pressure on me/made me more anxious to find a job as I felt like I was a burden to her. Getting offered this job has been a weight lifted off both our shoulders.

 

Not a good news day.

The fight continues into either chemo or immunotherapy.

****e week so far. We concentrate on the positives.

 

I would worry about saying or writing the wrong thing, I used to be deeply concerned about what people thought of me.
The cure is posting on this forum, this bunch of ****s soon will put you right. **** me, these tarts like to remind you of your failings at the drop of a bastarding hat.
If you want a coping mechanism, just post something in support of the Allams on here and you will soon forget your troubles!

 

Well said fatty

 

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