God was bored and went missing for six days. The Archangel Gabriel found him resting on the seventh day. "What have You been up to?" he said. "I've created the planet Earth and it will be a place of great balance." "Balance?" said Gabriel. God explained. North America would be wealthy and South America would be poor. "Over there I've placed a continent of white people, and over there a continent of black people." God talked of different countries. "That one will be hot and that one will be covered with ice." Gabriel was impressed and pointed to an area in England and said: "What's that?" "Ah," said God. "That is Portsmouth, the most glorious place on Earth. There will be beautiful lakes, streams, rivers and hills, great music, architecture, and sporting giants. The people from Portsmouth will be modest, intelligent and witty. They will be sociable, hard working and high achievers. They will be known throughout the world as diplomats and peace-makers." Gabriel gasped in admiration, thought for a moment, and said: "But what about balance, God? You said there will be balance." "Ah," said God, nodding sagely, "let me tell you about Southampton......."
The Queen once bought Prince Charles a fox fur hat but he never wore it. One day Charles said to her I’m going to Cannock tomorrow to open a new civic centre. The Queen said wear the fox hat. Charles replied up in the midlands by Wolverhampton!
