one of my hens is suffering an identity crisis. My daughter just rescued her after she got in the pond and tried to be a duck. Miraculolusly she just floated on top like a football but couldn't paddle so was just drifting around. I may have to get her some arm bands
I've spent a lot of time underwater at tropical dive sites. I'm fine with sharks but sea snakes give me a fright. Haven't seen that many, there was a cluster when I was doing my BSAC sport diver at Bom Bom Island Principe 1994. Doing a beach dive, shortly after starting there they were and I'm in their territory, it took a moment to control my breathing then it was slow and sure no quick movements. The dive leader said they had anti venom at the resort but still the closest I've come to filling my wet suit.
Hurrah....got my computer back. No more squinting at Saints videos. Going to get a bit of getting used to as layout all different as they changed hard drive and installed new windows. Managed to sign it up to my wi-fi (proud) and get Norton switched (even prouder, because that was a pig). At one point I even shouted f*** off to a recorded message....forgetting that they may monitor the call later....serves them right for assuming that everyone has a higher degree in geek.
Last year, one of mine was soaking wet so we think she fell In our pond and managed to scramble out. She also has an identity crisis as she thinks she is my wife. I think that’s what it is anyway, when she taps her beak on my office window or squawks loudly at me for food and then pecks me when I’m in the garden.
Does she roll her eyes and sigh a lot. If so, you could be right. P.s. How can stilton cheese smell so bad and taste like old socks and yet be so delicious. Yum.
I was in a shoe shop this morning and was trying on a shoe. I said to the assistant: "It's too tight". She said: "Try it with the tongue out", I said: "It'th nho ghood, it'th thtill thoo thight!"
Finding a woman sobbing because she had locked her keys in the car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She watches amazed as he takes off his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens. "That's so clever!" the woman exclaims. "How did you do that?" "Easy," replied the soldier, "These are my khakis."
I phoned my wife earlier to tell her to go careful as the radio just announced that an idiot is driving the wrong way down the Motorway. She replied What do you mean Idiot? There's bloody hundreds of them.
A man is in a car accident and screaming. The paramedic said calm down mate. Your girlfriend has gone through the windscreen and laying on the road and she is making less noise than you. He replied Have you seen what she's got in her mouth?
I rarely buy papers these days, but decided to today. I was disappointed that there wasn't the usual Monday pull out section about football....then an hour later, I remembered it was Thursday.
Unfortunately, that species is everywhere and is not uniquely British. May need better policing and if caught, the guy(s) do 100 hours community service clearing up all the litter and doggie **** or face a 1000 pound fine, name in the paper and letter sent to his/her employee. If a minor, again a spell cleaning up. Most would not do it again!!!
I see some Leeds fans created a lot of mess last night but at least some have the decency to clear up, as picture today.
Any dog owners here? I have to confess to being very embarassed one morning after taking my two dogs out. As per usual they do their business. Naturally, I used a poo bag but as for the pee I hadn´t really thought about it until I saw a neighbour walking her dogs, armed with a bottle of water in order to deal with that event. Now I go out with a bottle of soapy water to deal with what the dogs naturally do.
