A guy goes into a pub, puts a large paper bag on the bar and asks for a pint. As the barman is pulling the pint a little man about a foot high pushes a little piano out of the bag, sits down and starts playing. The barman says " that's fantastic, were did you get that?" The guy reaches inside the bag, pulls out a dirty old oil lamp and tells the barman to give it a rub. As the barman rubs the lamp, a genie appears and says he can grant a wish, but only one wish. The barman thinks for a few seconds and then says "I wish for a million bucks". The genie immediately says "Your wish is granted" and disappears back into the lamp. As soon as the genie had disappeared the door of the bar opened and a duck walked in. It was followed by another and another untill the bar was filling up with ducks. The barman said "That genie must be deaf, I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks". The guy said "Well, you don't need to tell me, you don't think I asked for a twelve inch pianist do you"?
Quitting your job and travelling does sound like living the dream. Where did you go? I've not been travelling anyway, not enough money and for most of the time I've not had anyone to travel with and I don't like the idea of travelling alone. Though if it counts, when I went to Germany two years ago, I travelled by train. And let me tell you, the German long-distance trains are not as reliable as the stereotype might suggest. 2005 wasn't a bad summer for me either. I spent a lot of it in e-mail correspondence with a girl from school after she gave me her address on the last day or so. Good times.
Bought a vw and headed south.......via Amsterdam. Went over the Hull crossing so we could smoke some quality green before committing to life of only simple needs. Was pretty wonderful, but we ended up back in the Netherlands after some months and literally spent the rest of the time exploring the bright lights and the back waters. A brilliant place. Life caught up with me pretty quick after that, wife, babies mortgage. But if this year has taught me one thing, its work to live. And live to dream. Don't get all hung up in indecision, take risks, work hard and find a way. Regrets will eat away at you otherwise. I was working a shirt and tie job in the build up, and even now I struggle to understand how I gave up all the security that came with it, but it changed my life. I knew I needed a change, but I needed the fear of the unknown even more. In saying all that, I don't envy the youngsters now, the future must seem very uncertain, and some of our neighbours less welcoming. But I do believe things will get better.
NEVER run from a predator - it makes you prey and almost all of them can run faster than you. It's a lot easier said than done though I was on a game walk once and we walked directly into the middle of a U-shaped pride of lions (luckily they were sleeping). The ranger said "Let's just walk slowly backwards out of here ...... DO NOT run. If any of you do, I'll trip you up and leg it myself ...." That time was about the closest I've come to needing new underwear .......
Does anyone know who these mongs are that think its okay to litter **** everywhere? Why has this now started, where have they been previously that we didn't see these pictures of beauty spots with crap all over the place?
Calm Down! Tesco is just asking you to wear a mask. You can still wear your pyjamas, and leave your bras and teeth at home
I think they are usually abroad spoiling other countries. They've all still got their ****ty little tents for the festivals that didn't happen so they decide camping is a great idea but are assholes and leave a mess behind them. Scum
An old man was taken to a strip club, and a stripper came up to the table and said “We’ve got a great show on tonight, Super sex”. The old man replied “I’ll have the soup please”. A survey in the Black Country has discovered that women have a broader accent than men. It seems that the female of the species are more Dudley than the male. How many of you read Dudley in a Black Country accent?
Just back from a no light pollution walk to spot Neowise. Well worth a look for anyone who wants a once in 30 years treat.....or just can't sleep.
Just been to Specsavers. Optician: You're results aren't good. Me: Can I see them. Optician: Probably not.
