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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A man goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers that the urologist is a very pretty female doctor.
    The female doctor says, "I'm going to check your prostate today, but this new procedure is a little different from what you are probably used to. I want you to lie on your right side, bend your knees, then while I check your prostate, take a deep breath and say '99' "
    The man obeys and says "99"
    The doctor says, "Great, now turn over on your left side and again, while repeating the check, take a deep breath and say '99"
    Again, the man says '99'
    The doctor said "Very good, now then, I want you to lie on your back with your knees raised slightly. I'm going to check your prostate with this hand, and with the other hand, I'm going to hold on to your penis to keep it out of the way. Now take a deep breath and say '99'
    The man
    begins "One ... Two ...Three"
     
    #6001
    Nordic, Ozzymac, MrRAWhite and 3 others like this.
  2. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  3. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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  4. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  8. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    Horse manure may protect us from the Corona Virus ...
    ~ Take fresh horse manure & rub your hands with it. It has the following actions:
    1. It prevents you from touching your nose, eyes, mouth.
    2. People will keep at least 6 feet away from you.
    3. No one will want to shake your hand.
    4. You will safely wash your hands well, before going to lunch.
    ~ We promise, it works.
     
    #6008
  9. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    That’s bull s hit.
     
    #6009
    MrRAWhite likes this.
  10. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    I had a really bad cough that sounded like a pony neighing ...

    ... Mrs Smug thought I was a little hoarse <doh>

    ...

    ....
     
    #6010
    Last edited: Jul 15, 2020

  11. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    You’re a bit sleepy this morning mate <laugh>
     
    #6011
    MrRAWhite and Smug in Boots like this.
  12. Vincemac

    Vincemac Well-Known Member

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  13. Montysoptician

    Montysoptician Well-Known Member

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  14. Draig

    Draig Well-Known Member

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    A wife is a sex object.

    Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
     
    #6014
  15. Smug in Boots

    Smug in Boots Well-Known Member

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    #6015
    Vincemac likes this.
  16. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Twit!
     
    #6016
  17. Draig

    Draig Well-Known Member

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    To who are you addressing your remark?
     
    #6017
  18. Ozzymac

    Ozzymac Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image
     
    #6018
    Nig, MrRAWhite, Gil T Azell and 4 others like this.
  19. Draig

    Draig Well-Known Member

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    One day the US President was out jogging and accidentally fell from a bridge into a very cold river.

    Three boys, playing along the river, saw the accident. Without a second thought, they jumped in the water and dragged the wet president out.

    After cleaning up he said, "Boys, you saved the President of the United States today. You deserve a reward. You name it, I'll give it to you."

    The first boy said, "Please, I'd like a ticket to Disneyland!"

    "I'll personally hand it to you," said the President.

    "I'd like a pair of Nike Air Turbos," the second boy said.

    "I'll buy them myself and give them to you," said the grateful defender of the Western Hemisphere.

    "And I'd like a wheelchair with a stereo in it," said the third boy.

    "I'll personally ... wait a second, son, you're not handicapped!"

    "No, but I will be when my father finds out who I saved from drowning."
     
    #6019
  20. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    I’v tried but no I can’t beat that one <ok>
     
    #6020
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