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Celtic v Rangers

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Ciaran, Sep 5, 2016.

  1. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Daddy?
     
    #101821
    Gambol and Tina. like this.
  2. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    <laugh>
     
    #101822
  3. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    Ooooooft I can see Baz being chased now <party>
     
    #101823
    Tina. likes this.
  4. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    This place is turning into Sawney Bean's cave.
     
    #101824
    Gambol, Toley Fart and Mind The Duck like this.
  5. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Wait until the flashbacks start
     
    #101825
    monacoger and Tina. like this.
  6. A.L.D.O 4.1

    A.L.D.O 4.1 1 of the top defendants in Europe

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    Neil Doncaster is now on the UEFA ethics and disciplinary committee!

    Naw, honestly, it's true!

    Crazy days!

    <laugh>
     
    #101826
    Toley Fart likes this.
  7. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Ask him out ffs
     
    #101827
    Tina. likes this.
  8. Tina.

    Tina. Well-Known Member

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    <laugh> he didn’t think this one through.
     
    #101828
    Mind The Duck likes this.
  9. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    **** up, ya big poof
     
    #101829
    Tina. likes this.
  10. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    ∆∆∆
    Batter this ****, daddy
     
    #101830

  11. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    Oh, Mindy
    Well, you came
    And you rave without thinking
    But the CSA sent you away
    Oh, Mindy
    Well, you pissed me off
    And stopped me from bin-raking
    And I feed you today
    Oh, Mindy


    Right enough that song was by someone called Baz
     
    #101831
    Gambol, Mind The Duck, Toby and 2 others like this.
  12. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Day off today. Took the King Charles a walk and saw red spray paint saying "union bears".

    Then moved on and saw the same paint abbreviated into UB.

    Now ive found the remainder of the can in some grass that the artists have decided to take offence to and colour red.

    Is this a hate crime?
     
    #101832
    Tina. likes this.
  13. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Holy Moses i am crying
    Just got news i didn't want to know
    Edge turned out to be my daddy
    And ive seen Tina poke him up his hole
     
    #101833
    monacoger and Tina. like this.
  14. Gambol

    Gambol George Clooney's wee brother

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    Worst haiku ever.
     
    #101834
  15. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    You'll pay for that in my magnum opus
     
    #101835
    Gambol, Tina. and pud like this.
  16. Moses

    Moses Well-Known Member

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    That's unlikely really as Tina's a bloke and you are older than Baz.
     
    #101836
    pud and Toby like this.
  17. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    <laugh> oooooooft Baz has to come back with something special or it is all over
     
    #101837
    Tina. likes this.
  18. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    IMG-20200618-WA0013.jpg

    Hahaha he actually looks like Big C
     
    #101838
  19. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Gentleman and Lady i may or may not be sorry for the next post...
     
    #101839
    Tina. and pud like this.
  20. Mind The Duck

    Mind The Duck Well-Known Member

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    Two little boys had two little toys
    Each had a PS2
    Their eyes rolled back inside their heads
    When Uncle @A.l.d.o cried "Big Jock Knew"

    One little chap then saw a mishap
    @Gambol broke off his index finger
    Leapt off the couch in such a grouch
    Then left a small gift that would linger

    Did @Tina need invite her pals round
    When there's room on this couch for two?
    "Climb up and open a window
    There's a reekin smell of poo"
    "When we grow up she'll finally tell us
    Who was the last one off"
    "I wouldn't put odds on @Toby
    He's never left his mothers loft"

    One went shy and started to cry
    "It'll be 20 before she'll tell"
    "You just reminded me of 20 something @Trev there"
    "Aye STONE PMSL"

    Daddy doesn't care, daddy doesn't dare
    Show us any love
    We've been left and abandoned
    Like @Devs traveling glove

    Did @Tina need to bring her pals round
    There's less space now because of the Jew
    Some pricks now pulled up in a bus;
    Its @Mon and his jig-a-boo
    "Maybe this guys our daddy
    He sure does get around"
    "But neither of us have webbed feet
    And @Mons from Campbeltown"

    There was a yell and the ring of the bell
    Outside slouched @YerMaw
    But noone would go to answer
    Because Lonely Peroni ain't much of a draw

    The room starts to fill but there is a chill
    As if the Pope walked into a lodge
    Over @YerMaw steps @Benoit Blanc
    Probably Europe's top judge

    "Did you think i would leave you lying
    With odds that were one to ten?"
    "Come have a look at my open book
    Its a list of @Tina's men"
    "Its pot luck just look who she ****ed
    Some were drunk and mean"
    "Others wore wummins clothing
    One wore boot cut jeans"

    We switched off Pes and headed to bed
    Had to escape from this rotten bunch
    But as we passed the kitchen there was @pud on his 3rd lunch
    "How y'doin n' where y'goin?
    Do you want to hear a story?"
    "Not from you n' get out our fridge
    You voted ****ing Tory"

    "Do you think i would let food go to waste
    When ive still to have my turn?"
    "Lucky for me ive moved up a place
    @Ifindoubt found a sheep by the burn"
    "Just give me 5 minutes to digest this
    I know who your father is, son"
    "He's a well respected protestant
    And a dirty rotten Hun"

    Outside a snore and then a roar
    We thought it was Pastor Glass
    Over @YerMaw stormed a well dressed prod
    Having just dropped off his kids at mass

    "Get me that man as fast as you can!!!"
    "Bring him right to me"
    "He who has revealed my secrets
    @Toileronthesea"

    Out came the old goat, twas grabbed by the throat
    "Who did you tell about @Mindy!!!"
    Up looked the man saying as calmly as he can
    "Shut up smelly, you smell"

    "Did you think you could keep it secret when you described every inch of his mum"
    "How can you keep it secret
    When he saw you taking it up the bum?"
    "Ive been so sad, are you really my dad?"
    "Because i have something to tell ye"
    "You're an ugly, dirty orange bastard
    And should KYSASAP"
     
    #101840
    Gambol, monacoger and pud like this.

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