There was a young man from Brighton Who thought he’d at last found a tight ‘un. He said, “Oh my love, It fits like a glove.” Said she, “But you’re not in the right ‘un.”
There was a young maid from Madras Who had a magnificent ass; Not rounded and pink, As you probably think – It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
Brian O’Connell drives a double-decker bus through the streets of Dublin. One day a very drunk Timothy Fogarty climbed aboard Brian's bus taking a seat on the bottom deck near Brian. As you may or may not know, Brian is required not to allow any drunks onto his bus, but today he was rather light-hearted so he decided to let the inebriated Fogarty remain on board. As is his wont when he has had a few Timothy began talking a mean streak, which made Brian suggest that Timothy should sit on the upper deck. “The air up there is clean and fresh, and you will get a much improved view,” encouraged Brian. Fogarty agreed and stumbled his way up top. However, he returned in only a few minutes. “What's wrong?” Brian asked. “Didn't you like it better up there?” Timothy replied, “It's okay. But it's too dangerous.” “Too dangerous?” queried Brian. “How is that?” “There's no driver,” answered Fogarty. At the very next stop two more drunks climbed on board the bus. The first drunk was Bill O‘Brien and the second was Tommy Lynch. Bill asked driver O‘Connell, “Will this bus take me to 35th Avenue?” No, it won't,” answered Brian. After a short pause, Tommy Lynch asked, “What about me?”
Start my new job tomorrow. I travel around Circuses and Fairs to tell the owners when their coconut stalls are getting too old. I'm the shy retiring type.
There were three native Indian women. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw on the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
Who does Donald Call When his Country is on Fire - Who Ya Gonna Call?? please log in to view this image