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Off Topic Just for Mr RAWhite

Discussion in 'Sunderland' started by Smug in Boots, Jan 19, 2015.

  1. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    Someone told me to try horse manure on my rhubarb. I have to say... I still prefer custard!
     
    #5601
  2. RTB

    RTB Well-Known Member

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  3. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    It's good to see that Lifeguards are back on duty . . . .
    please log in to view this image
     
    #5603
  4. farnboromackem

    farnboromackem Well-Known Member

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  5. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A blonde city girl named Judy marries a farmer.

    One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the farmer
    says to Judy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's stall is in the barn. Please show him where the cow is when he gets here, OK?"

    The farmer leaves for the fields.
    After a while, the insemination man arrives and knocks on the front door, and Judy takes him down to the barn.

    They walk along the row of cows and when Judy sees the nail, she tells him, "This is the one right here."

    The man, assuming that he is dealing with an airhead blonde, asks, "Tell me lady, 'cos I'm dying to know . . . . how do you know that this is the right cow to be bred?"

    "That's simple," she said. "By the nail that's over its stall," she explains very confidently.

    Laughing rudely at her, the man says, "and what, pray tell, is the nail for?" The blonde turns to walk away and says sweetly over her shoulder . . . . "I guess that it's to hang your pants on."
     
    #5605
  6. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    A little girl was leaning into a lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the collar of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, all under the eyes of her screaming parents.

    A biker jumps off his Harley, runs to the cage and hits the lion squarely on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back, letting go of the girl, and the biker brings the girl to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.

    BBC reporter, Laura Kuenssberg, watched the whole event. She addressed the Harley rider and said, "Sir, that was the most gallant and brave thing that I've seen a man do in my whole life.”


    The Harley rider replies, "Why, it was nothing, really. The lion was behind bars, I just saw this little kid in danger, and acted as I felt was right.”

    Miss Kuenssberg "Well, I'll make sure that this doesn't go unnoticed, I'm a BBC journalist, and tomorrow's news will run this story. So, what do you do for a living, and what political affiliation do you have?”

    The biker replies "I'm a British Army veteran, a Conservative and I voted for Brexit”.

    The journalist leaves.

    The following morning the biker turns on BBC News to see if it indeed brings news of his actions.

    BBC Headline: RIGHT WING UK VETERAN ASSAULTS AFRICAN IMMIGRANT & STEALS HIS LUNCH . . . . and that
    pretty much sums up the BBC's approach to the news these days !
     
    #5606
  7. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #5607
  8. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #5608
  9. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #5609
  10. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #5610

  11. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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    please log in to view this image
     
    #5611
  12. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  13. Iansun

    Iansun Well-Known Member

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    :emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm:emoticon-0102-bigsm
     
    #5613
    Gil T Azell likes this.
  14. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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  15. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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    I sleep better naked…why can't the flight attendant understand this?!!!!
     
    #5615
  16. Gil T Azell

    Gil T Azell Well-Known Member

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  17. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    You’re on form, Gil!
     
    #5617
    MrRAWhite and Gil T Azell like this.
  18. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    Aye him and Gordon are top notch atm - but don't get cocky yer bas***ds it could easily go downhill
     
    #5618
  19. safc-noggieland

    safc-noggieland Well-Known Member

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    Who in their right minds wants to go to Downhill. TEF was always better.
     
    #5619
    Gordon Armstrong and Gil T Azell like this.
  20. Gordon Armstrong

    Gordon Armstrong Just another S.A.F.C. fan
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