"A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralysed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed."
An Englishman was touring the USA on holiday and stopped in a remote bar in the mountains of Nevada. He was chatting to the barman when he spotted an old Indian sitting in the corner. He had tribal gear on, long white plaits, wrinkled face. “Who’s he?” asked the man. “That’s the Memory Man.” said the barman. “He knows everything. He can remember any fact. Go and try him out.” So the man goes over, and thinking he won’t know about English football, asks “Which second tier side got to the 1982 FA Cup Final?” “QPR,” replies the Memory Man. “Who did they play?” “Spurs,” was the reply. “And the score?” “1-1” he said. “Who scored Rangers goal?” “Terry Fenwick,” was the old man’s reply. The tourist was bowled over by this and told everyone back in England about the Memory Man when he returned. A few years later he went back to the USA on holiday and tried to find the impressive Memory Man. Eventually he found the bar and sitting in the same seat was the old Indian only this time he was older and more wrinkled. Because he was so impressed, man decided to greet the Indian in his native tongue. He approached him with the greeting “How”. The Memory Man replied, “Header in the six yard box after a flick on from big bad bob’s bouncy barnet!”
At the store was an X on the floor by the register for me to stand. I've seen too many Road Runner cartoons to fall for that crap
