GOVERNMENT NOTICE . Due to the current financial situation caused by the Virus and slowdown in the economy, the Government has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 50 years of age and above on early, mandatory retirement, thus creating jobs and reducing unemployment. · This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early). · Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to the Government to be considered for the SHAFT program (Special Help After Forced Termination). · Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (System Covering Retired-Early Workers). · A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as the Government deems appropriate. · Persons who have been RAPED could get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependents & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). · Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by the Government. · Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much **** (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. The Government has always prided themselves on the amount of **** they give our citizens. · Should you feel that you do not receive enough ****, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the **** you can handle. Sincerely, The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.) PS - Due to the Virus, recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.
Cardiff City FC have offered to reserve 1500 seats each home game next season for NHS workers ........ A spokesman for the NHS said have these people not suffered enough already ?
I have a friend who is a pilot for Virgin Atlantic but, because of this lockdown, he's off work, l asked him if he fancied doing a bit of decorating for me while he's at a loose end and he jumped at the chance. l must say, he made a lovely job of the landing.
He'll have to check the tower before approaching the upper landing painting zone, and do a first class job before getting the gear back down ? Keep pets out of the way but Don't flap if a runaway drip hits the dogs tail or nose it's not terminal but it'll bail out of the danger zone sharpish on contact !
Lockdown clearly getting to some people https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/SUZUKI-G...669349?hash=item3426684e25:g:bU0AAOSwe-RenGpe
