I have to praise the government for keeping Jacob Rees Mogg a minimum of 2 metres away from a microphone.
Only a pity that the two metres are not below ground level... Only joking though.. Despite disliking the bloke immensely, I wouldn't wish that on anyone..
Mrs Smug's behaviour is starting to concern me ... ... she started making me a coffee about 20 minutes ago. The kettle boiled then the coffee, milk and water went in. Now I can hear the spoon going round and round and round ... .... I think she's going stir crazy
When shopping in Harrods, ensure people stay at least two meters away from you by holding a Lidl carrier bag.
I applied for a job today and they ask me to send my CV ... ... so I coughed into an envelope and sent it off. No idea wtf that was but I'm keeping my fingers crossed