For the last twenty years I've received a Valentines day card from the same secret admirer. So I was upset when I didn't get one this morning First my Gran dies, now this
She needs to go back to school and get educated properly instead of trying to be a grown up, looks like a snotty self opinionated little sh1t.
Norman, an old retired sailor, puts on his old uniform and heads for the docks once more for old time's sake. He engages a woman of the night and takes her up to her room. He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy his age, but needing some reassurance, he asks, 'How am I doing?' The lady smoothly replies, 'Well Norman, you old sailor, you're doing about three knots.' 'Three knots?' he asks. ' What's that supposed to mean?' She says, 'You're knot hard, you're knot in, and you're knot getting your money back.'
Shaks and Eire decide to make some money by putting their last few savings into a barrel of whiskey. They plan to roll it to the local town on market day and sell it for £1 a cup, making a huge profit. Rolling it along they stop for a rest under an oak tree. Shaks feels thirsty (surely not) and says to Eire ‘if I give you £1 can I have a cup of the whiskey?’ ‘go on then’ says Eire, pocketing the £1. A few minutes he too starts to feel thirsty. Then he remembers he has £1 in his pocket. So he says to Shaks ‘if I give you £1, can I have a cup too?’ Hard to imagine what happens next but - spoiler alert - they never become rich.
Countries like France don’t have a free market or pro-business mentality, no wonder we can’t work with them - they don’t even have a word for entrepreneur.
There's an error in your signature, it should read 'We are descending into madness by society's pandering to the insane left' You're welcome - any time. I don't feel very pandered to, though.
Not as funny as your Brexit posts, but I think it brought a smile, but it might have been trapped wind.