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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #12341
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Paddy Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin.

    A Norwegian also applied for the same job. Since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to sit for a test and were led to a quiet room where they would not be interrupted.

    When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
    The manager went to Paddy and said, "Thank you for coming to the interview, but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.”

    Paddy said,... "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct and this being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.”

    The Manager replied, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you got wrong.”

    Paddy started to get annoyed and asked, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?”

    The Manager said, "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't know'.

    You put down, ˜Neither do I".
     
    #12342
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    The inventor of inappropriately timed innuendo jokes died yesterday.

    His wife is taking it hard.
     
    #12343
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12344
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  5. antipodean exile

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    #12345
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  6. antipodean exile

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    #12346
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #12347
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  8. antipodean exile

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    #12348
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  9. antipodean exile

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    #12349
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  10. antipodean exile

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    #12350
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  11. antipodean exile

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    #12351
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  12. antipodean exile

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    #12352
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  13. antipodean exile

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    #12353
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  14. antipodean exile

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    #12354
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Be Proud to be British. We know where every untaxed car is located among the millions of UK car owners but we haven't a clue where the millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

    Why doesn't Boris Johnson put the DVLA in charge of immigration!
     
    #12355
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Always drive in your dressing gown and slippers.

    If you cause a car crash, you can pose as a witness from a nearby house!
     
    #12356
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #12357
  18. antipodean exile

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    #12358
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  19. antipodean exile

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    #12359
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    "


    Delivery Guy - "Can I use your toilet?"
    Me - "Certainly its under the stairs"
    Delivery Guy - "Which One"
    Me - Ërm its the person sized one"
     
    #12360
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