Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

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A woman dies and goes to heaven but the waiting room outside the Pearly Gates is busy so she starts to have a chat with Saint Peter. After a few minutes there is a sound of drilling along with a blood curdling scream "What was that!" she exclaimed and St Peter said "Oh, don't worry about that, they are just drilling the hole to fit a halo on a new angel" The woman calms down and carried on talking but soon after there is the sound of more drilling and screaming "My word, what is that noise all about?!" she asks. "Oh not to worry yourself about that, it's just the new angel getting holes drilled to fit their wings"

The woman backs out and says "You know, I think I'd rather be going to that other place down below" St Peter gasps and says "But in Hell you will spend eternity getting raped and sodomized!"

"That's not a problem" says the woman "I've already got holes for that!"

 

A guy finally gets his finances sorted after a bitter divorce and decides to blow his cash on a Ferrari. He's driving down the motorway with the top down doing about 70 mph when he thinks "F**k it, I've earned this baby!" and hits the gas. As he is speeding up he sees the flashing lights of a Police car behind him and decides that there is no way he can be caught in such a fast car so he nails it and is soon doing 150 mph but after a minute he thinks to himself that he is being a total idiot and pulls over to wait for the Police car.

The traffic officer comes out and walks slowly over to the car and looks at the driver. "Listen pal, you've got a great looking car, it is the end of my shift in 10 minutes and I have been working 7 days straight so I'll make you a deal. If you can give me an excuse that I've never heard before for driving so fast I'll let you off this time"

The driver thinks for a minute and says "Last week I divorced my wife for running off with a Policeman and I thought it was you trying to return her"

The officer says "have a safe journey Sir"

 

Q) What is the hardest thing about figure skating?
A) Telling your mum & dad that you are gay