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If you were a tattoo artist....

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by Aldridge_Prior, Feb 7, 2011.

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  1. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    Good contribution OT, yours may be the more practical approach but a dedicated tattoo artist should have more than a couple of horses lying about. This still raises the issue "how do I attach the skin to the horse?". My answer would be to grab a couple of lemon sharks from your accessory cupboard and wire their tails to the horses tails. Smear caviar, or crab paste to each end of the faceskin and the resulting bite from the lemon sharks will be a lockjaw style clamp on the face of the cockney twat meaning the chain between skin and horse would be unbreakable.
    To reverse the lockjaw and release the faceskin, rub Vics Vaporub on the sharks noses. Lemon sharks hate Vics Vaporub.
     
    #21
    Aldridge_Prior, Feb 7, 2011
  2. overseasTOON

    overseasTOON Active Member

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    Lemon sharks can be tricky to get hold of outside of the British warm water season.

    What about Lemon Sole? I know it's pricey but if Lemon Sole will do then we can just get Dab as it's much cheaper. We could put lemon juice on it?
     
    #22
    overseasTOON, Feb 7, 2011
  3. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    I'm a dab hand at acquiring cheap fish, I used to skate down to the plaice where people can be found carping over the latest haul. Honestly I'd have a halibut time and used to bump into my old school mates, I was always breaming when I left. I once saw James Perch sporting a mullet while he was floundering over a deal for some scraps. I thought to myself "eel leave it too late as usual and someone else will get there before him".
     
    #23
    Aldridge_Prior, Feb 7, 2011
  4. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Go to the back of the class AldridgePrior.
     
    #24
    Agent Bruce, Feb 7, 2011
  5. u408379965

    u408379965 Well-Known Member

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    On Steve McLaren, have you seen how depressed he looks: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/9390250.stm
     
    #25
    u408379965, Feb 7, 2011
  6. Darth Gogledd

    Darth Gogledd Well-Known Member

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    This has got me thinking. What would happen if we cut all of Collo's hair off and gave it Johnson...

    (Don't worry, I wouldn't really)
     
    #26
    Darth Gogledd, Feb 7, 2011

  7. Sir Bobby

    Sir Bobby Active Member

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    Talking of a bald Colo, can anyone remember last season when Coloccini said he would shave all his hair off if we got into Europe? If the players needed any inspiration... <whistle>
     
    #27
    Sir Bobby, Feb 7, 2011
  8. Ichosethewrongname

    Ichosethewrongname Member

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    Id have to tatoo a disappointed/pissed off expression on williamson's face for when he makes a mistake that leads to us conceding. Just seems to shrug it off and not care these days....
     
    #28
    Ichosethewrongname, Feb 7, 2011
  9. The Armband

    The Armband Active Member

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    #29
    The Armband, Feb 7, 2011
  10. Obertan's Rancid Toe

    Obertan's Rancid Toe Well-Known Member

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    please log in to view this image


    please log in to view this image


    Two of my favourites
     
    #30
    Obertan's Rancid Toe, Feb 7, 2011
  11. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    ****in hell ninja! Where did you find them?
     
    #31
    Aldridge_Prior, Feb 7, 2011
  12. Wein14

    Wein14 Active Member

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    How about something like this on... ... Ah it would make anyone look stupid!
    please log in to view this image
     
    #32
    Wein14, Feb 8, 2011
  13. Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te

    Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te Member

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    I would just tattoo bellends all over Steve Bruce's face
     
    #33
    Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te, Feb 8, 2011
  14. Agent Bruce

    Agent Bruce Well-Known Member

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    Gawd, it already looks as if it's been run over by a steamroller, don't you think that's bad enough?
     
    #34
    Agent Bruce, Feb 8, 2011
  15. Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te

    Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te Member

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    I despise the man
     
    #35
    Ricardo Izec5on dos Santos Le1te, Feb 8, 2011
  16. Aldridge_Prior

    Aldridge_Prior Active Member

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    BUMP!

    How about Ryan Giggs with "CTB" on his forehead?...
     
    #36
    Aldridge_Prior, May 23, 2011
  17. TheLittleGeordie

    TheLittleGeordie Active Member

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    Cor bump a thread Mondays really caught on
     
    #37
    TheLittleGeordie, May 23, 2011
  18. The Secret Ingredient

    The Secret Ingredient Well-Known Member

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    brucey with a cover up job to cover
    tragets
    yewrope
    top 9
     
    #38
    The Secret Ingredient, May 23, 2011
  19. Demba's Chronic Knee

    Demba's Chronic Knee Member

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    Steve Bruce's face on every Mackem's..it's a team game
     
    #39
    Demba's Chronic Knee, May 23, 2011
  20. Demba's Chronic Knee

    Demba's Chronic Knee Member

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    Tattoo a ball to Messi's foot so that it's always stuck to him.. oh hang on
    Put it on Shola's then
     
    #40
    Demba's Chronic Knee, May 23, 2011
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