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JACK-ANORY FOR A FUNNY STORY - Joke Thread & Comedy Club

Discussion in 'Swansea City' started by swimaway, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6461
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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6462
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  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  4. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    Another 10 year challenge
    upload_2020-1-4_16-4-47.jpeg
     
    #6464
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  5. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    I'm putting you on ignore if you keep this up <laugh>
     
    #6465
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  6. Taffvalerowdy

    Taffvalerowdy Well-Known Member

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    You wouldn’t be the first...... <laugh>
     
    #6466
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  7. daimungeezer

    daimungeezer Well-Known Member

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    Ok..... as you may (or may not) have noticed I don't do "social media" and despise it as a concept, but anyway, I've looked up "10 year challenge" and sort of understand what it is now. I still don't understand why it's on the joke thread though! :p

    So, it would appear this represents some sort of 10 year deterioration/change. So in this instance this is a representation of 10 years of you "viewing" pictures of Marilyn Monroe <laugh>
     
    #6467
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  9. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    If you think swimming with dolphins is expensive then you should try swimming with sharks.

    Cost me a bloody arm and a leg.
     
    #6470

  11. TheRealBubbles

    TheRealBubbles Well-Known Member

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    Dear God.
     
    #6471
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6472
  13. TheRealBubbles

    TheRealBubbles Well-Known Member

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    Brilliant
     
    #6473
  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6475
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  16. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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    #6476
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #6477
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    One day a man decided to retire...

    He booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and
    proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

    He soon found himself on an island with no other
    people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

    After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

    In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

    She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my fishing boat sank." "Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

    "Oh, this ole thing?" explains the woman. " I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree."

    "But, where did you get the tools?"

    "Oh, that was no problem," replied the
    woman. " On the south side of the island, a very
    unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in a volcanic vent I found just down island, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

    The guy is stunned.

    "Let's row over to my place," she says "and I'll give you a tour." So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small hand built wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

    While the woman ties up the rowboat with an
    expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, It's not much, but I call it home.

    Please sit down." "Would you like a drink?"

    "No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

    "Oh, it's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Jack Daniels neat?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

    No longer questioning anything, the man goes
    upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

    "This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

    When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but a bandana around her blonde locks and some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned. She smelled faintly of coconut oil. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

    "Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering
    closer to him, "We've both been out here for many
    months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you had a really good ride?"

    She stares into his eyes.
    He can't believe what he's hearing.

    "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,

    "You've built a Motorcycle?”
     
    #6479
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  20. swantastic

    swantastic Well-Known Member

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