Smugs thread about dying had me thinking of other things loosely related, we celebrate our 49th Wedding Anniversary on Thursday and I've been thinking a lot recently about family no longer with us so here we go. We married in 1970 and within 14 months I lost my dad and two years later I lost my mum as well, so my two daughters, now in their forties grew up with only one set of grandparents, my in laws. (Nancy and Jack). The in laws became our baby sitters, go to for advice and my father in law showed me how to wallpaper and decorate, gave me a passion for gardening as well. He also kept my cars on the road in the days when you could do your own maintenance, they stepped in as surrogate parents for me and in fact they were in my life for more years than my own parents. They never interfered, allowed us to make our own mistakes but we're there if we needed them. I'm not saying they replaced my parents, no one could do that but I suffered the same grief when they died (ten weeks apart in 2001 which was tough for all of us) as I did for my mam and dad, and I could not give them any higher accolade. Lots of people end up not getting on with the 'in law's but I can honestly say they were brilliant towards me and my family. Anybody else have a good experience of their in laws or was my relationship with them somewhat unique.
I've never married so might not fully appreciate if it's different once you're married and they become family. I've been with my Mrs now for 18 months. She has a huge family and they know that it's just me and my brother, in life. My parents and grandparents were gone by the age of 34. I honestly can't speak highly enough of them. Her brothers have made me feel like we've all been mates for years and they've really set me at ease and made me comfortable around them. I have such a great connection with her Mother, when I'm up there (Scotland) my Mrs can be at work and I'm comfortable popping around to her Mothers by myself for a cuppa. I get on so well with her. My girlfriends father is a real gentleman, he took a little longer working me out which I fully understood and accepted. We've been to the footy together and once he realised that I like a bet (He's murder for it behind his wifes back) that was it, we connected and I have such a laugh and understanding with him now. I ended up in court for my ex girlfriends father. We never got on and when I finally left his psycho daughter he was stood punching the palm of his hand telling me he'd waited a long time for this day to come. I plastered him all over the living room and walked out. I was arrested three days later. I'd hate to have a prick like that again in my life. It would be a deal breaker for me and a woman.
Congratulations for Thursday, Cumbrian! My wife and I celebrated our first anniversary in October. My in laws are fantastic people. They could have seen me as bad news as I have a daughter from a previous 'marriage' which can cause complications sometimes. However, they have accepted us and made me feel really part of the family. My own parents are over 200 miles away so it's nice to have them nearer. I get on with both of them very well and enjoy their company. He is a real football man and I spend a lot of time talking football with him and have learnt an awful lot.
My wife's dad died only a week after we met, so the my only contact him was when he waved at me once after I dropped my then girlfriend off at her door. My mother in law celebrated her 92nd Birthday today, and we have always got on OK.
All depends on what they're like as people doesn't it? My Mother-In-Law is incredibly hard work. She has the worst anxiety I have ever seen (but exclaims to all the world she doesn't have it), and at the same time is OCD and expects everything to be done her way. I almost lost my mind when we decorated their living room for them, she stood over and commented on everything I did. She has a heart of gold, but I find being in her company uncomfortable and challenging. My Father-In-Law is a gent. Loves his sport (although not so much football as an Aussie) but he asks me about the Lads when I see him. He's great craic and excellent company, I've had some great rounds of golf, sport watching and pretty deep chats with him, he struggles with his Mrs too, but will never leave her, not now.
My wife's parents aren't together so I've got a couple of extra step parents in law, one of who is great and the other I dislike more than almost anyone I've ever met. The bugger keeps on coming down to ruin my weekend though even though he appears to be miserable the whole time and doesn't like young children My wife's mum is good fun, we share a dirty sense of humour and she's pretty sexy for 60. Her dad is a nice guy we're both into similar stuff like football, whisky, dogs and Ford Cosworth's. Unfortunately he supports Newcastle same as my wife but he doesn't rub it in too much. Probably because he knows they're our derby bitches.
My Mam is still with us, aged 95, but is the only remaining parent of me and my wife.My wife gets on great with my Mam, and was close to my Dad too, so we were lucky. Her parents got on well with mine too, which was a Godsend at parties. I used to get on famously with my mother-in-law. She didn't interfere, but was always there when we needed her. She died aged 68 (throat cancer) despite being incredibly fit for a lady of her age. Before she became too ill, she was still teaching ballet at Montessori, and ran 6 keep fit classes per week in Sunderland. She was an inspirational woman. The church was crammed for her funeral. My father-in-law was quite quiet, and wasn't a football fan, so that didn't crop up in our conversations. I had no knowledge of ships, but used to love hear him talking about his time at sea. He was a Chief Engineer in the Merchant, before coming ashore, to work as Chief Engineer at Sunderland Council (Eden Vale), where he was responsible for all of the schools boilers. He was on the Sunderland Lifeboat Crew for 22 years, and I used to love going down the boathouse with him. He carried his bleeper everywhere, and the only time I've seen him leave a pint was when he got a 'shout'.
We live near my in laws and a long way from my parents ( whole other country). I've always got on very well with them, hey mother is an absolute star and probably a better person than my wife or I in all honesty ( helps us out tons and although a retired nurse she does a ton of charity work and unpaid stints in a local nursing home). My father in law was sound and very sharp but has early onset dementia making him now very variable, he's actually become quite sexist with it and speaks to me and his other son in law in a much better manner than my wife or her sister which is pretty awkward at family events. He's great with the kids though, but we couldn't leave him alone with them now. Poor guy, he's still in there behind the condition. They're great people.
Yes mate, dementia is a ****. Both my parents had it, so I've probably got no chance of missing out. My mam was 93 though, when diagnosed. So I'll settle for that. With the number of people it affects, there should be more funding to try to find a cure, as so far any drugs can only slow the process down.
My father in law spent the last two or so years in the living death(imo) which is dementia. he went from a great bloke to one who assaulted his wife of 60+ years and getting out at night with no clothes on, which he knew nothing about until it got to the point his wife couldn't cope anymore and putting him in a care home was the hardest decision our family ever took. Your right about research into this awful disease it needs a lot more spending on it, as like cancer it can effect anybody.
My ex Father-in-Law was superb. Someone I would call a close friend - until his daughter shagged my best friend and he sided with her. His wife on the other hand was awful!! My ex-wife lost them both last year -Stomach cancer!and Leukaemia respectively! Feel for her but (harsh maybe) not my issue any more My current Mother & Father in law are superb. Have a very good and close relationship with them and quite a bit in common with my Father-in-law. Outside of religion (they're Jehovah's witnesses, I'm an Atheist and open about that - saves us a lot of Money at Christmas!!) they're great! Had a couple of run-ins with him about that - when he's preaching to my daughter about his "One true god, we know it is because it says so in this book" that gets my goat a little (lot). Otherwise, they're great
My in-laws are over 7,000 miles away which has it's advantages but usually means that when we go and see them it's full on for at least 2 weeks and there's literally no escape - until the return flight. I get on well with them, my father-in-law is great and makes sure that I have some decent wine and the odd drop of rum during our time with them. The mother-in-law is an excellent cook and we are always well looked after. They are both in their eighties but are still in good health and probably have a better social life than me and the wife. This years trip is approaching fast so I'll have to brush up on the Spanish and find that sun cream.
