1. Log in now to remove adverts - no adverts at all to registered members!

Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7741
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7742
    Uber_Hoop likes this.
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    A Golfing Nun…

    A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a
    chair.

    She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

    'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior.
    'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

    'It was,' sighed the Sister.

    'And I went to play golf with my brother.We try to play golf as often
    as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted
    my life to Christ.'

    'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed.
    'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'

    'Far from it,' snorted the Sister.

    'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'

    'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished.
    'you must tell me all about it!'

    'Well, we were on the fifth tee... and this hole is a monster, Mother.
    540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green...and I
    hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made.

    And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...
    and it hits a bird in mid-flight!'

    'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother.

    'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme,
    Sister!'

    'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister.

    'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel
    runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

    'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathized the Mother.

    'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister.

    'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether
    this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs
    the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

    'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.

    'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because
    as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started
    struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and
    the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from
    the cup!'

    Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her
    chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

    'You missed the fxxxxxg putt, didn't you?'
     
    #7743
    QPRski, Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  4. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7744
    Uber_Hoop likes this.
  5. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7745
  6. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7746
  7. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7747
  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7748
  9. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7749
  10. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7750

  11. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    Charlie Sheen is American,
    Michael Sheen is British,
    but Mr Sheen is polish...
     
    #7751
    Wooperts_duck, QPRski, UTRs and 2 others like this.
  12. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    Prince Andrew: I don't remember the girl and the notion that you think I can remember that far back is ridiculous
    besides which I was in Pizza Express in Woking at precisely 3.02pm with Beatrice.
    She had a Spaghetti Bolognese and I had a Hawaiian pizza with cheesy garlic bread
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7752
  13. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    “I am neither Leave or Remain.
    I identify as a Non Binary British European.”
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7753
    Uber_Hoop, Wooperts_duck and Ninj like this.
  14. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

    Joined:
    May 11, 2011
    Messages:
    110,568
    Likes Received:
    215,369
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7754
  15. IwasanotherwatfordR

    IwasanotherwatfordR Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2012
    Messages:
    2,221
    Likes Received:
    2,607
  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7756
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7757
    Uber_Hoop, daverangers and kiwiqpr like this.
  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7758
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7759
    Uber_Hoop and kiwiqpr like this.
  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
    Staff Member

    Joined:
    Jan 30, 2011
    Messages:
    144,683
    Likes Received:
    263,744
    please log in to view this image
     
    #7760
    Ninj and Uber_Hoop like this.

Share This Page