My boy was driving down scumland on Friday night, couldn’t work out why loads of scummers were walking round at 8.45, then he saw the score, he then duly obliged in reminding them of the score.
An 8-year old girl went to the office on "Take your kid to work day". As they were walking around the office the young girl started crying. Her father asked what was wrong. As the staff gathered round, she sobbed loudly "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said you work with?"
Apparently they're making a remake of the Never Ending Story. It starts with a Man asking a Woman how her day was.....
A man washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed-up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance. As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it. The sheepdog, ever-protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling. A few weeks passed-by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Dianne Abbot That evening, the man brought Dianne to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again. He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave-in and leaned over to Dianne and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Dianne batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him. He said, 'Take the dog for a walk.
