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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.
    • I can"t remember his name, it"s P something T something R.
     
    #11101
    antipodean exile, Oct 12, 2019
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • What do a hurricane, a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common?
    • Someone"s going to lose their trailer...
     
    #11102
    antipodean exile, Oct 12, 2019
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11103
    antipodean exile, Oct 12, 2019
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11104
    antipodean exile, Oct 12, 2019
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11105
    antipodean exile, Oct 12, 2019
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11106
    antipodean exile, Oct 12, 2019
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11107
    antipodean exile, Oct 13, 2019
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Sound needed !!

     
    #11108
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11109
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11110
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11111
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11112
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11113
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11114
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
    The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
    "Yes, Father, it is."
    "And who was the girl you were with?"
    "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
    "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
    "I cannot say."
    "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
    "I'll never tell."
    "Was it Nina Capelli?"
    "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
    "Was it Cathy Piriano?"
    "My lips are sealed."
    "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
    "Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
    The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
    Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
    "Four months vacation and five good leads..."
     
    #11115
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #11116
    Wooperts_duck, Oct 13, 2019
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  17. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • I"m not a racist, the French don"t count...
     
    #11117
    antipodean exile, Oct 14, 2019
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  18. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    • Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are discussing family.
    • Englishman says, "My son was born on St.George"s Day so I called him George!"
    • "What a coincidence!" says the Scotsman, "My son was born on St.Andrews Day so I called him Andrew!"
    • "Jaysus!" says the Irishman, "That"s ****ing amazing!, wait "til I go home and tell our Pancake!!!
     
    #11118
    antipodean exile, Oct 14, 2019
  19. antipodean exile

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    #11119
    antipodean exile, Oct 14, 2019
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #11120
    antipodean exile, Oct 14, 2019
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