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Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

Discussion in 'Queens Park Rangers' started by kiwiqpr, Feb 23, 2012.

  1. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  2. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced Up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized She was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took The seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, “Business trip or pleasure?”

    She turned, smiled and said, “Business. I’m going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Boston."

    He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen Sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs!

    Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, “What’s your Business at this convention?”

    “Lecturer,” she responded. “I use information that I have learned from my Personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.”

    “Really?” he said. “And what kind of myths are there?”

    “Well,” she explained, “one popular myth is that African-American men are The most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is That Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is Scotsmen who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with Absolutely the best stamina is the Irish

    Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.. “I’m Sorry,” she said, “I shouldn't really be discussing all of this with you. I don’t Even know your name.”

    “Tonto,” the man said, “Tonto McTavish but my friends call me Paddy".
     
    #7382
  3. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  4. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    Dear Deirdre.....
    I have never written to you before but I really need your advice. I suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating. The usual signs.... the phone rings and if I answer, the caller hangs up, also she’s going out with the girls a lot and when you ask their names its "you don't know them.” I try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home but I usually fall asleep. Anyway last night I decided to finally check up on her. Around midnight I hid in the shed behind my tractor so to get a good view of the whole yard when she came home from her night out with the girls. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse which was open and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment when I crouched behind the tractor I noticed it. A hairline crack in the manifold right where it meets the exhaust. Is this something I can cast-iron weld myself or should I take it back to the main dealer?
     
    #7384
  5. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I just switched from eating venison to eating pheasant .

    Absolute game changer...
     
    #7385
  6. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  7. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  8. kiwiqpr

    kiwiqpr Barnsie Mod

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  9. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    My brother plays football for a team called the Musketeers.

    They started the season well..with three wins and a draw..

    all 4-1 and one 4-all....
     
    #7389
  10. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I'v just put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

    You know, just to make it more classy..
     
    #7390
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  11. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  12. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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    I've just bought some state of the art garden shears.

    They're the latest in cutting hedge technology.
     
    #7392
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  16. Wooperts_duck

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  17. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  18. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  19. Uber_Hoop

    Uber_Hoop Well-Known Member

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  20. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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