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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

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  1. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10901
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 17, 2019
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10902
    antipodean exile, Sep 19, 2019
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10903
    antipodean exile, Sep 19, 2019
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10904
    antipodean exile, Sep 19, 2019
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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10905
    antipodean exile, Sep 19, 2019
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  6. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    A Northern man decided to wash his sports shirt. He opened the washing machine then stopped, thinking for a minute.
    He shouted to his missus,
    "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"
    "It depends," she replied. "What does it say on your shirt?"
    He yelled back, "Manchester United.”
     
    #10906
    devonFRATTONiser, Sep 19, 2019
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  7. devonFRATTONiser

    devonFRATTONiser Well-Known Member
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    Police in Liverpool last night announced the discovery of an arms cache of 200 semi-automatic rifles with 25,000 rounds of ammunition, 20 tons of heroin, £5 million in forged UK banknotes and 25 trafficked Ukrainian prostitutes, all in a semi-detached house behind the Public Library in Toxteth.
    Local residents were stunned, and a community spokesman said:
    "We're all shocked; we never knew we had a library."
     
    #10907
    devonFRATTONiser, Sep 19, 2019
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  8. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10908
    antipodean exile, Sep 21, 2019
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  9. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10909
    antipodean exile, Sep 21, 2019
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  10. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10910
    antipodean exile, Sep 21, 2019
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10911
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  12. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    My brother plays football for a team called the Musketeers.

    They started the season well..with three wins and a draw..

    all 4-1 and one 4-all....
     
    #10912
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  13. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

    You know, just to make it more classy....
     
    #10913
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  14. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10914
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  15. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    I've just bought some state of the art garden shears.

    They're the latest in cutting hedge technology.
     
    #10915
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  16. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10916
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  17. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10917
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  18. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10918
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  19. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #10919
    Wooperts_duck, Sep 21, 2019
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  20. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #10920
    antipodean exile, Sep 22, 2019
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